No, I thought YOU said I was alright, Spider.
Did you ever buy a "Greatest Hits Live" album by a musical artist 10 or so years past their prime, but you still kinda liked it? That's this movie. Argento takes a lot of "inspiration" here from his earlier work and packages it into a pretty low budget hommage to himself. I'm frankly all in for that, but a meandering plot and a weirdly miscast Max Von Sydow lead to a generally distracted film.
After Death 1989
In this really strange mash-up of Demons and Evil Dead, you will see people do things you don't understand, in ways that make no sense, to music that is repetitive and horrible. There's not a plot as such but there are plot-like things people say, and the saying of these things are occasionally administered throughout the film. But it's still sort of fun.
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio 2022
Yup, I cried.
Christmas Bloody Christmas 2022
I swear, I was ready for some gory, sleazy, funny Christmas horror, and to see my first Joe Begos movie. But it all went horribly wrong.
One of the best things about this movie is that one out of every four words is "fuck". There are other words spoken too, but they don't really matter. There's also an edgelord sex scene, and yelling, and Jonah Ray kinda sorta acting, and really dumb talk about bands. Did I mention all the…
I'm not a geneticist, but I don't think two generations of inbreeding is sufficient to produce a giant perpetually lactating wraith troll.
Don't get me wrong, this is mostly solid horror. The interplay between Bill Skarsgard (who's GREAT here) and Georgina Campbell is amazing as we watch Tess ignore all warning signs while inching toward apparent oblivion.
I love what this movie is trying to say and how it works to get there. Given how it tries to ground itself, though, I thought it needed a more cogent story with fewer holes.
Seeing this on a big outdoor screen last night (at the best Drive ln on earth, with the best drive-in people on earth, The Mahoning), after countless previous viewings, provided an amazing contrast to the crampedness of the house sequences, which make up most of the movie. Then, in the final minutes, BOOM, hell opens up and sheds light on everything.
Claire Higgins IS this movie, and she's an amazing contrast to Ashley Laurence's feisty innocence. And yes, the closing…