Stop Making Sense

Stop Making Sense ★★★★★

Every time I think about how much I used to drink, I instinctually think back to the last time I got totally and completely tanked. I was dating someone I didn't really like all that much, and they hated how much I drank, but we were both desperate to not be alone and neither wanted to work too hard to find it, so we settled.

The last time she withstood it, I showed up to her parents house while they were out of town, wasted, with a huge, gross sandwich, and proceeded to eat it in her bed before I passed out and woke up the next day at 5 am, with just the worst headache of my life. When she eventually woke up, she made me breakfast, broke up with me, and told me to leave. I was very very hurt. Not because I wanted to be with her, but because I didn't even really want to be with her. And it really occurred to me, for the first time in a long time, that I had absolutely no idea what the fuck I was doing with my life. It was easily the most embarrassed and sad moment I can remember ever feeling.

That day I called it. I was done. That night, I had no idea what to do without a beer. So I thought back to what I used to love doing before drinking...watch a fuck ton of movies! So I looked on the streamers for the first thing I saw that I found interesting. And there it was. This fucking concert film.

I knew nothing about the band, knew very little of their music, but had heard this was THE concert film and I needed something, anything, to distract me from the very hungover, painful moment I was living in. Not only did it work, but it was transforming. Not immediately. Not totally. But it was the beginning of my new moment. And it was scored by this wonderful movie/album that I now listen to basically every road trip I take.

It's been years since I watched the actual concert film, but seeing it yesterday felt brand new. Those silhouettes. That direction. The energy. Weymouth's incredible dance moves. The moment still lives in me. And it will continue to live in me, until that fateful moment when I spontaneously combust while skydiving, just like I've always dreamed I would.

One day I'll double feature this with the other movie that kinda sorta saved my life (Alien, containing a very similar sentiment in my review) and one day, I'll truly realize just how monumental both of these movies are to me. Til then, I'll just be over here, makin' flippy floppy, tryin' to do my best.

"Home. It's where I want to be."

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