Tsunambee ★★★

August Horror Scavenger Hunt ‘18

6. There is nothing worse than being attacked by insects on a hot summer night. Today we are watching a horror movie that features insects! 

Oh my fucking god from the moment this started I knew it would be pure shit. Just an overexposed mess full of itself, right down to hack introductory bible quotes. BIBLE VERSES FROM REVELATIONS ARE WHAT OPEN TSUNAMBEE. A MOVIE WITHOUT ANY REAL BEES! IT’S ABOUT A TSUNAMI OF WASPS! THE BIBLE QUOTE ISNT EVEN ABOUT BEES EITHER! ITS ABOUT LOCUSTS!

That’s not even getting into the drastically different “gangland” style section of the movie and then there’s the nightmare sequences and the gangs in bright yellow bee shirts and then the giant wasps show up and chase everyone and it’s never really explained why and then the wasps bleed bright green and everything is so overexposed and bright and then the gang members start walking in open air despite JUST being attacked by gigantic fucking wasps and then they get picked up by the cop they were just in a shootout with and then they start driving again and then the bees attack again and then they almost drove off a cliff the bees are so distracting but they get out of it by just getting out of the car carefully and then the car suddenly falls despite only being 1/4 off the cliff and then they all get lost in the desert and earthquakes keep happening and they all get chased by the giant wasps again and the wasps have bee-vision and can’t attack people in traffic tunnels somehow and then there’s a flashback to a police shooting because This is America and I kept hoping the bees wouldn’t involve a racial element when it comes to selecting their victims and then THEY INTRODUCE ZOMBIES AKA ZOMBEES (because of the bee venom) and the zombie attacks the group and bites one of the gang members so now it’s a zombie/disaster/insect movie and things just get FAR FAR WORSE FROM THEN ON. THIS IS ALL WITHIN THE FIRST HALF HOUR! THERE ISNT EVEN A TSUNAMI!!! AND ITS ALL SOMEHOW CONNECTED BECAUSE OF FAITH?!????

So of course it was fucking hilarious! Watch this trash fire immediately!
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Edit: I turned off the credits too soon. There is a coda to the film, that establishes SUPER FAITH BASED BEE KILLING ABILITIES to be used by some nameless blond woman

Adam liked this review