• Boots on the Ground

    Boots on the Ground

    ★★½

    Like a lure, these soldiers were pushed into this strange maze of a building. Following a version of themselves!?

    Corridors that go on and on and on, nothing memorable until they find the room with ammo and a big container of money. Well here's something to get the team turning against one another, of course there is a bad spirit hanging about too.

    The Tony Blair mask is one of the highlight creeps.

    The film made me uneasy, it jumps…

  • Perfect Blue

    Perfect Blue

    ★★★★★

    J-pop idol quits to become an actress. It's a hard shift she tries her hardest, is full of self doubt, coupled with someone messing with her...or are they.

    I loved this a lot, it's the bananas I love. Those reveals and Mimi happily hopping down the street will forever stay popping about my head.

  • The Nightingale

    The Nightingale

    ★★★½

    I'm so glad Billy didn't bring a dog.

    Curled up and hoped for a glimmer of some good. I can say the friendship was the only shimmer.

    Tragic to the bone, full of no hope.

  • Flesh Eating Mothers

    Flesh Eating Mothers

    ★★★★

    So what happened did that mammy's get a chronic case of the worms. Well turns out its one wee shagger.

    Famous people to get VD. Hitler, Julius Caesar, Napoleon, Al Capone, Idi Amin, Paul Gaugin

    This will entertain the nuts off you. They went there, those kids got eaten, she (scottish accent) ATE A BABY!

    and if your still unclear there is a cartoon to explain the cell munchin.

    The mothers are sexy and nice, I had to go dig…

  • Mommy Dead and Dearest

    Mommy Dead and Dearest

    ★★★★

    What a watch. Poor Gypsy what a shit shit life. I'm gobsmacked.

    Her Mums murder is terrible.

    Says a lot when there's no one not naebdy that'll take your ashes and do anything nice. In fact the suggestion is flush em.

  • Bloodline

    Bloodline

    ★★★½

    Bloodline has a good beat. A new baby, no sleep, nappies, repeat.

    Parents need to vent it off. Pack your sweaty sports bag, cause its time to let off some steam.

    You know when you complain about a pal to your mum and then they have an out of control burning hatred for them. You're like shit best not tell her these things cause I love em really. That! His counselling sessions with those kids, don't take it tooo seriously Mr…

  • Kitchen Sink

    Kitchen Sink

    ★★★½

    How satisfying is it to pull out the equivalent of a London scabby rat out of your sink plug hole. Sure you gag, but its so bloody satisfying.

    This was as gross, a damn nightmare. I hope that hairy beast doesn't visit me in my sleep tonight. Cleaning out that plughole may not be so satisfying now.

  • Red Dot

    Red Dot

    ★★★½

    Anxietied all over the place. Just like sweet Boris, I was whining away. A really difficult watch, that had my tum twisted up in knots.

    What a disaster these two are, cannie drive, falling into all sorts of trouble and I mean let sleeping bears lie you two.

  • Death Line

    Death Line

    ★★★½

    The sound of beating hearts as you are panoramicked over his larder. Its no dirty dancing bahboombahboom I can tell you. 

    Pleasance and his sidekick, they are beauties, comedy sidekicks even. Lets go to the pub.

    How is that place not stinking. Loads of layers of fucked up decomposing dead cannibals with some trinket on their belly. Loads, the place was hoatching. and now there's only one.

    I've always had the fear of the subway anyway, between American Werewolf of London, to the Equalizer (old school), now this.... my heads going to be shouting bind the drawers, no...rind the rawers, no its fwind de doooars. Quite heart-breaking that cry.

  • In Their Sleep

    In Their Sleep

    ★★★½

    She got pulled way over her head in this one, and I think the lad did get sideswiped a tad. He was aching for a family, and she was aching for her boy.

    Stanley knives give me the willies, and thank goodness there were no family pets!

  • Final Stab

    Final Stab

    I liked this for the fashions, oohhh the pearl necklaces, the slicked hair, the man from del monte suits....he says yes btw.

    Its a bit meh, until the actual final stab where the twists are revealed. Oh Angela your hiding skills are dreadful.

  • The Ungodly

    The Ungodly

    His idea for a documentary...ooft mate this is not going to end well!

    It plays to all the tropes of your 101 serial killer. Cruel childhood, mammy issues, I was a bit disappointed by the easy cheesy, until it all backfires on the 'film makers' ass. 

    The serial killer's mum was an evil one, she was something.