Favorite films

  • The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
  • Jackie Brown
  • Taxi Driver
  • Con Air

Recent activity

  • Poor Things


  • Savior


  • Godzilla Minus One


  • Lakeview Terrace


Recent reviews

  • Poor Things

    Poor Things


    Despite essentially being a 2-hour TikTok of Emma Stone getting pounded by Mark Ruffalo's THC-inflated, sweating, Michelin Man body of flesh, unlike most PornHub films Cheap Tits (AKA. Poor Things) put me to sleep before I got a chance to ejaculate.

    Yorgos Lanthimos CAREEER?!?!?!!??! i.e. can he just fucking stop / go back to making out-of-focus movies on Super 8 that no-one understands.

    Extra half-star for Emma Stone's tits.


  • Savior



    The Dad From The Parent Trap and Professor Gerald Lambeau living out their alternate lives as an unhinged US Mercenaries Gone Rogue in Bosnia.

    This film is as full on, fucked up and hillarious as it sounds.

    Loses half-a-star because Dennis Quaid isn't trying to reverse global warming by being a quintessential Straight White 90s Dad.


Popular reviews

  • Mank


    After about an hour I realized I do not give a FUCK?!?!?!?!??!

  • Tenet



    Dear Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros. Pictures,

    I'd like to congratulate you on finally coming out of the closet and admitting that you failed one of your Semester 1 film school modules: sound recording and mixing.

    The premise of the class is familiarising students with basic sound recording and mixing techniques i.e. holding the microphone within 4 km of the performer's mouth (preferably pointed in the direction of their mouth, or at a minimum: remembering to turn on the fucking…