• Shazam! Fury of the Gods

    Shazam! Fury of the Gods


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    LITERAL Deus ex Machina.

  • Skinamarink


    The only real way to watch this movie is in a theater with a full audience that completely buys into it. I didn't jump once, but the audience I saw it with jumped and gasped and laughed at their own jumpiness over and over. It's one of the most quiet movies I've ever seen. I could regularly hear the guy behind me on the right whispering "Oh my fucking god" over and over while also hearing the guy behind me…

  • First Blood

    First Blood

    What fantasy world does this movie take place in?

  • Triangle of Sadness

    Triangle of Sadness


    It’s like Titanic, but with more vomit and diarrhea and less Celine Dion.

  • She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

    She-Hulk: Attorney at Law


    Having completist tendencies can be rough. So yes, I'll watch your entire Marvel show even though it's something I would never bother with if it weren't Marvel.

  • The Munsters

    The Munsters

    You can tell it’s a comedy because of all the cartoonish sound effects.

  • Tumbbad



    Smoking is injurious to death.

  • Bros



    Too many montages and tinkling pianos. Weird subplots that don’t go anywhere and a song that feels wildly out of place. There’s a lot of typical romcom crap in this movie. But there’s also a lot to like. It’s usually frank and unafraid of sex. And I appreciate that the obstructions in the relationship feel more like personal hang ups than contrived misunderstandings. It’s also weird to hear Garth Brooks get mentioned so much in a 2022 movie. The movie…

  • Pinocchio


    That “Pinocchio” song that Tom Hanks sings is like that “Hot Chocolate “ train wreck all over again. No more showtunes for Tom Hanks. The one thing I liked about the movie is how it leans into the creepiness of the shadow men on Pleasure Island. Otherwise this movie is useless.

  • Jaws



    Why is everyone wearing a jacket in July?

  • The Wedding Singer

    The Wedding Singer


    This movie is a lot more mean spirited and self-serving than I remember. The only reason the movie works at all is because Drew Barrymore is adorable.

  • The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

    The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King


    The movie takes way too long to leave the party, but it brings a giant spider so it evens itself out.