I’m pretty sure Jim Kelly tried to punch a bird in the dick in this movie. Birds mostly don’t have dicks, but he damn well tried his best.
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Claire's Knee 1970
I have deeply mixed feelings about Claire’s Knee, one of Eric Rohmer’s Six Moral Tales. I think the film (and director) knows what an utter fucking bastard the lead, Jerome, is. I know the film thinks he’s a buffoon – the directorial stand-in, Aurora, writer and friend of Jerome, is constantly watching him with a smirk, pushing him toward folly and observing his failures, moral and otherwise. But does the film cut him too much slack? And does Rohmer’s unnatural…
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Escape from Alcatraz 1979
“Jeez, what kind of childhood did you have?”
“Short”
Don Siegel is one of the great “manly” directors and this plays like a Shawshank Redemption stripped off all that candy ass “emotion” and “catharsis” and “backstory.” I kid, but it works here. Why is Clint in jail? I don’t know, he did some crimes. Why does he want to escape? ‘Cause he doesn’t want to be there. Patrick McGoohan is used sparingly as the warden, the supporting cast is uniformly strong - this is terse, muscular stuff.
Don Siegel films ranked here.
[watched while reading Cinema Speculation]
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Paradise Alley 1978
Stallone writes and directs the hell out of this sports dramedy about three scrappy Italian brothers (Stallone, Armand Assante, and actual boxer Lee Canalito), but it’s handicapped by so many weird and poor choices, most cripplingly the casting of Stallone himself as the hustling, motor mouthed Cosmo. The role needs a James Woods or a Mickey Rourke, Stallone can’t keep up with his own dialogue.
I do really like the final wrestling scene, Canalito and Terry Funk really sell it…
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The Perfection 2018
I am genuinely uncertain whether what I just watched was terrible terrible, or hilariously awesomely terrible. And I'm not sure if the director and cast know either. But I wasn't bored.
I attended a screening with a Q&A from director Richard Shepard and stars Alison Williams and Logan Browning, and Shepard said the film was shot in 24 days, cheap and fast, from an idea he developed himself for Williams, and that seems about right. Shepard also said his inspiration…
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Cocaine Bear 2023
Just a complete failure on every possible level. I wish the filmmakers were on as much cocaine as Stephen King when he made Maximum Overdrive, maybe this would have been fun.
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