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A video essayist that just wants you to be happy.
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Columbus 2017
My girlfriend almost broke up with me today. We haven't seen each other in two months due to quarantine. She called me and said she wanted to continue our relationship 5 or so hours later. The whole ordeal resulted in me having a panic attack.
And yet somehow, at two in the morning after a night of crying alone in my bedroom with my dog giving me comfort nuzzles, I end up here.
Columbus is my happy place. I can…
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Saw X 2023
As someone who has seen every single Saw movie and Jigsaw, imagine my surprise when Saw X is the best Saw film of all time.
An actual moral quandary that holds steady throught the entire film that actively balances emotional ramifications of the entire series up to this point and the classic kills that you expect from a Saw film. The acting is either really good or really camp and both styles blend together perfectly. And god bless Shawnee Smith…
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Scream 2022
There is absolutely no shot that this has a 3.6 average on here.
I must just be on crack, because this was so so so bad. It's an endless pool of meta that hits you across the face with it as bluntly as possible. There's no grace, it's one of those movies that makes fun of tropes and bad things about horror films... and then just does those things, but because they mentioned it, now they're self aware! The acting…
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A Quiet Place Part II 2020
The response to this film makes sense to me.
Most people liked the first one and they think this one is better.
I thought the first one was mediocre and I think this one is worse.
The first thing that has to be addressed is that the pacing here is awful. The film is literally missing a third act. Ambiguity is cool, but your film kinda just does need to have an ending, and there's just not an ending here.…
