Rob

I'm not answering any Goddamned questions without my lawyer here.

Favorite films

  • Pulp Fiction
  • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
  • Unbreakable
  • WarGames

Recent activity

All
  • Reservoir Dogs

    ★★★★½

  • The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special

    ★★½

  • The Breakfast Club

    ★★★★

  • Alien Nation

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Reservoir Dogs

    Reservoir Dogs

    ★★★★½

    Imagine you’re a suburban kid in 1992. You have access to more of cinema history than any other generation before you, but what you can actually get is restricted to what HBO, Showtime, and your local Blockbuster, with its corporate policy of family friendliness and carrying mostly big new releases that will move in and out, will actually show you. Because of that, you think French New Wave is a punk band, Godard is a brand of Canadian Prosecco, and…

  • The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special

    The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special

    ★★½

    Right around this time in 1978, my parents seemingly secured themselves a place in the shittiest nursing home I can find by sending me to bed halfway through the Star Wars Holiday Special. Twenty-one years later, after a college friend gifted me a VHS bootleg of the special, I called my folks to apologize, and tell them they actually did me a kindness... but I was keeping the power of attorney papers. Anyway, this is the same thing, only with…

Popular reviews

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  • Perfect

    Perfect

    ★½

    We open with seizure-inducing flickering lights and a voice over direct from an incel's manifesto, and I fear that I might have made a terrible movie selection.

    Then we cut to a teenager, who has apparently murdered a girl in his bedroom, calling his mom for help, and it seems the voice over might well have been straight out of an incel's 4Chan post history, and I am questioning the life choices that have brought me here, in front of…

  • The Breakfast Club

    The Breakfast Club

    ★★★★

    I have written before about how people who consider high school to be the best days of one’s life are deluded, possibly a danger to themselves and others, and to be avoided as a potential hazard at worst, or, at least, as terribly, terribly boring people.

    Don’t get me wrong, I can understand being wistful over the memory of being young, thin, and feeling indestructible. I, personally, have a lot of nostalgia over things I did at seventeen, when someone…