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  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★★

    “If the twelve-year-old version of me could see me right now, he’d be like ‘what the fuck!’”

  • Batman Returns

    Batman Returns

    ★★★★

    Surprisingly very horny.

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  • Cats

    Cats

    ★★

    Those worried can rest assured.

    There are not one, but two separate times when cats get hit in their nonexistent genitalia.

    So if you’re thirsting for cat nut shots, you’re in luck.

  • The Godfather: Part II

    The Godfather: Part II

    ★★★★★

    Everything that could have possibly been said about The Godfather and its sequel has already been said, so I'll say nothing.





















    Okay, I'll say one thing.

    I can't think of a better way to watch this other than in Radio City Music Hall with a packed crowd and an anniversary panel with the cast and director. Coppola and Duvall talking about their experiences with Brando will remain implanted in my mind for a long, long time.

    I would not have…