vanity elevated to a dogmatic principle, the secular smothering of any and all possible futures/pasts in favor of enthroning the ever-sacred family unit; there is no alternative permissible. a film which rejects that 'anything could happen' and insists that 'only one thing should happen'; nihilism refuted not via exceptionality, but through the omnipotence of mediocrity. synthetic edits draining filmmaking into pre-packaged gruel, all the reddit-tier 'humor' running as distraction from the fact that all of this is infused with the complicit languor of point-blank literalism; your sincerity means nothing when it's this knowingly overdetermined, this calculated, this controlled. completely one-dimensional, no subtext, barely a 'text', all structured with obvious purpose, nothing left for the performers to do but deliver canned lines of dialogue and strut into absurd frames like dolls with garish outfits. you wanted your film to look and act like this? this was your intention...? who produced this...? oh... the usual suspects.

everything everywhere pacifies, waves the flag for the centrist-liberal appeasement of wanting the world to be 'nice', wanting queer people to be 'nice', wanting reality without contradiction, melancholy without anger, coffee without caffeine, the aesthetic appearance of life without any of the spontaneous potential of actually living in the world. total assimilation, where the most comforting certainties in the universe are literally death and taxes; the demonic bastard-child of the wachowskis and the MCU, with an A24 coat of paint, a cinematic tranquilizer designed to pat the audience on the back while their world burns.

"you have taken a complicated question and you have trivialized it with your answer, and lack of experience."