Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone ★★★½

A few notes:

-Please call CPS! Harry Potter was abused as a child.

-Wait, they use the Harry Potter theme diegetically? Hagrid plays it on the recorder. Man, it has been years since I watched this. 

-Hogwarts is extremely dangerous. I hope they’ve got good lawyers.

-Quidditch is what someone who has never played a sport imagines sports are like. Plus they’ve got an 11 year old playing with 17 year olds? Yikes.

-Diagon Alley is just what England is like. Nobody can convince me otherwise

-I’m glad Hogwarts literally puts all of the bullies into one house. 

-So, you’re telling me when Dumbledore looks in that mirror he sees himself getting railed by Johnny Depp?

-Are the chocolate frogs animals? Seems kinda inhumane to just take a bite if you ask me. Can’t wait until they introduce elf slave labor in Harry Potter 2.

-Christopher Columbus has the worst parents in the world, and the evidence is right there. Why did they name him that?

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