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  • Blank Check

    Blank Check

    ★½

    Crusty Chalupa's Helluary 2021

    A kid gets financially bullied by his asshole father and brothers so severely that he commits one of the most significant financial fraud cases in American history, essentially turning him into a capitalist asshole. It honestly feels like Disney executives just came up with the idea to film some child having extravagant, decadent fun, and a story morphed around that concept like poorly molded clay. There are many pieces of music here that sound like they came from Hell. I shouldn't even start with the subplot between the kid and the bank teller.

    Bonus points for Miguel Ferrer.

  • Lawrence of Arabia

    Lawrence of Arabia

    ★★★★★

    "NO PRISONERS! NO PRISONERS!"

    A film that single-handedly contains some of the most outstanding wide shots of the form, showcasing the true beauty of the locations and the excellent usage of blocking that helps in crafting the most incredible epic images of '60s filmmaking, showcased in 70mm, definitively one of the most detailed film formats in history. O'Toole plays a man who, as he immerses himself in these conflicts occurring in the Middle East, becomes infused within the toxic machinery…

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  • Twin Peaks

    Twin Peaks

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Season One: 8/10 (⭐⭐⭐⭐)

    For something that was featured on network television, an outlet known for inconsequential sitcoms and mediocre crime dramas (that being said, some of it isn't all bad...you know...when it's NOT BASKETBALL), it's nice that Twin Peaks is structured as well as it is, for a short season, that is. The tight, focused narrative of Laura Palmer's murder (and the subsequent emotional reactions of those who knew her) was a great way to showcase the town of…

  • The Big Lebowski

    The Big Lebowski

    ★★★★★

    Some folk dive into this movie looking for deeper meaning. I disagree. The real message here is "shit happens, so who gives a damn?" The Coen Brothers made a movie where a right-wing gun nut is friends with a carefree stoner. UNITY. This singlehandedly contains one of my favorite main characters (Jeff Bridges as The Dude), one of my favorite side characters (John Goodman as Walter), and my favorite written line ("and I hate The fuckin' Eagles, man"). Every movie…

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  • You Don't Mess with the Zohan

    You Don't Mess with the Zohan

    ★★★★★

    This is, by far, the greatest comedy ever made. You Don't Mess With the Zohan is a masterful humor riot from the minds of Adam Sandler and Dennis Dugan, the team behind Big Daddy and Jack & Jill (which both are hilarious, too). Its message can be related to the real world, where Israeli commandos are now looking to become hairstylists in the heart of America.

    You Don't Mess With the Zohan stars the Daniel Day-Lewis of comedy, Adam Sandler as…

  • Gravity

    Gravity

    ★★★★★

    Gravity is a film that deserves it's praise and recognition. There is no other film like it, nor will there be for a long time.

    Alfonso Cuaron's entrancing experience deserves to be seen on the largest screen possible, with the best sound system, and I dare say this.....in 3 dimensions. All three of these qualities mesh together to pull you and the audience into Space. A damn fine setting, indeed.

    Gravity is a 90 minute thriller in the deadliest setting…