Sharkenstein

Sharkenstein ★½

I thought I'd seen the worst of fuck awful edited in sharks when I endured Jurassic Shark for the first time. I was wrong. But this time, the shark looks like he's on steroids and made out of styrofoam. This film was terrible in almost every conceivable way possible, but if you're gonna bastardise Shelley's work, this is how you go about it. Having said that, Sharkenstein is shockingly boring given its premise. Oh and the shark is also a rapist *spoiler*

Personal highlights:

. The kids show H2O: Just add water had a better fx team

. Deliberately awful Halloween shop prosthetics

. The blood looks like Robinsons summer fruits squash and is the exact same edited in footage for pretty much every kill scene

. Wholesome dad-bod representation

. Same shark clips are brazenly edited in multiple times

. Shoe horning in Hitler references because apparently that's the done thing

. Me perfectly timing saying "this is so bad" just before Sharkenstein exclaims "it's a fantastic success!"

. The shark prowling through the woods reminded me of Oujia Shark

Low light:

The beeping noise on the boat kept making my dog bark at 1 am

I can't believe I paid for this shite. Actually, yes I can.