Not Okay

Not Okay ★★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Watching this movie had me pausing every few seconds not because I hated it, but because it was so so upsetting that I had too many emotions to keep going. I had to watch it with a friend just to keep pushing through. I have never gotten so mad at a character before because they were written so ugly and tone deaf that it makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs that someone could ever be like this kind of person. She lies so much to the point where she starts seeing the terrorist in everyday shadows, making herself believe that she was there. She's convincing herself she was there because she has fallen so deep that she wants it to be real- she wants pain and trauma to be real just so she can get noticed.

The movie also makes me sad, too, because you see Rowan become dependent on Danni. She lost her sister to the shooting, and even though throughout them bonding she seems skeptical, the sisterly bond that Rowan is falling towards when looking up to Danni is saddening. Rowan doesn't have anyone close that's her age she can relate to, regarding not only trauma but generational similarities. And to see Danni build up this safe space for Rowan just for it to all be fake?

Danni is so complicated to understand also because I can never tell if she's being sincere. Is she truly trying to be sisterly to Rowan, trying to fill some void in her because of her loneliness, or just trying to make relationships stronger to get herself further in the world? I at least see her starting to actually want to comfort Rowan and relate to her, to the point where lying to her makes her choke up. But at that point she is too far in.

Her character is so well written that even when she publishes the article admitting everything, it's hard to tell if she is truly being sincere. But I also think about her as a person. Is she truly feeling anything, or is it true, that her life is gray and she is just numb all the time. She takes her medications that make her "happy", and in my experience my meds also make me feel numb. Emotionless, uncaring even. Is there an explanation for her actions? Lack of love from parents- or more specifically, lack of direct love from her mom, lack of friends, her loneliness? Is there a way to even connect the dots on how her emotions lead her to becoming to tone deaf and socially awkward or was she like this from the very start?

The question this movie brings up for me is: If someone didn't mean to hurt anyone, are they truly unforgivable?

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