Favorite films

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  • Safe
  • Cure
  • Bound

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  • The Matrix Reloaded

    ★★½

  • The Matrix Resurrections

    ★★★

  • Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn

    ★★★★

  • Jingle All the Way

    ★★★★★

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  • The Matrix Reloaded

    The Matrix Reloaded

    ★★½

    I mean yeah this one was dumb but honestly also kinda lit. Just needs to have its boring conversation bits removed so that it’s more honest about the kind of movie it is.

  • The Matrix Resurrections

    The Matrix Resurrections

    ★★★

    At times plenty of fun and at others an absolute mess, our new Matrix movie isn’t a total failure, but it also seems to fall short of its potential. Poking through its stumbles and over-indulgences are the traces of a more finely-tuned movie, and I can’t help but be bummed that we didn’t get it.

    Unlike Reloaded and Revolutions, which offered not much more than impressive-if-goofy set pieces glued together with snore-inducing dorm room philosophy, Resurrections has its heart in…

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  • (500) Days of Summer

    (500) Days of Summer

    ½

    Seeping from the fissures of this hideous movie you can see the semblances of what it wants to be: a charming sleeper hit bursting with quirky personality, hipster culture references, and sardonic commentary on modern romance. What you’re actually watching, however, is a deeply contrived studio-manufactured simulation of one, so desperate to be clever yet so relentlessly trite that I could feel my brain smoothing over as I watched it, as though I were stepping into a Target renovated overnight to look like an American Apparel.

  • Vampire's Kiss

    Vampire's Kiss

    ★★★★★

    This is and always will be my favorite Cage, and is apparently his favorite role he’s ever played.

    Nothing less than perfect, down to every word, every facial expression, every weird gesture. It’s like he took two modes of silent-era performance — physical comedy and Nosferatu-style macabre horror — and mutated them together into flawless harmony. Still underrated these days imo, even in the recent wake of Cage-rage fandom.

    Pairs well with American Psycho.