It's not like the movies, they fed us on little white lies.

Favorite films

Don’t forget to select your favorite films!

Recent activity

  • The Prestige


  • The Piano


  • Batman Begins


  • Rope


Recent reviews

  • Batman Returns

    Batman Returns


    Don't ask me why but the Burton Batfilms have an intensely soporific effect on me. I've never gotten through one without falling asleep at some point. Not that that's a bad thing. Gorgeous and weird and terminally horny, it's criminal how Nolan stole so brazenly from this and managed to make something only half as interesting. DeVito's penguin is a far cry from his comic iteration but always fascinating to watch. Way, way, too long. By the time the Penguin…

  • Heaven Can Wait

    Heaven Can Wait


    If Spider-Man: No Way Home isn't 2:45 of Peter Parker monologging his life-story to Mephistopheles then I really don't care.

Popular reviews

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road


    Truly insufferable. Interesting mise en scene, set design and remarkable practical effects but not much else. One continuous chase scene that goes on for TWO HOURS is not a feature, it’s a bug. Borrows Snyder's empty machismo and unearned bravura and mixes it up with no-wave Whedonesque Feminism (Roughly: Sexy Ladies Punching Dudes). Cars and car culture are dull, chugging butt-rock is dull, mealy-mouthed, surface-level criticisms of patriarchy and sexism are dull. How this ended up being the movie of…

  • Prophet's Prey

    Prophet's Prey


    Average American: "I'm deeply afraid of Sharia Law coming to America."

    Me: "uh huh huh huh ho uhm uh..."