dale_croupier

It's not like the movies, they fed us on little white lies.

Favorite films

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  • The Prestige

    ★★★

  • The Piano

    ★★★★★

  • Batman Begins

    ★★★½

  • Rope

    ★★★½

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  • Batman Returns

    Batman Returns

    ★★★½

    Don't ask me why but the Burton Batfilms have an intensely soporific effect on me. I've never gotten through one without falling asleep at some point. Not that that's a bad thing. Gorgeous and weird and terminally horny, it's criminal how Nolan stole so brazenly from this and managed to make something only half as interesting. DeVito's penguin is a far cry from his comic iteration but always fascinating to watch. Way, way, too long. By the time the Penguin…

  • Heaven Can Wait

    Heaven Can Wait

    ★★★★

    If Spider-Man: No Way Home isn't 2:45 of Peter Parker monologging his life-story to Mephistopheles then I really don't care.

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  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road

    ½

    Truly insufferable. Interesting mise en scene, set design and remarkable practical effects but not much else. One continuous chase scene that goes on for TWO HOURS is not a feature, it’s a bug. Borrows Snyder's empty machismo and unearned bravura and mixes it up with no-wave Whedonesque Feminism (Roughly: Sexy Ladies Punching Dudes). Cars and car culture are dull, chugging butt-rock is dull, mealy-mouthed, surface-level criticisms of patriarchy and sexism are dull. How this ended up being the movie of…

  • Prophet's Prey

    Prophet's Prey

    ★★★½

    Average American: "I'm deeply afraid of Sharia Law coming to America."

    Me: "uh huh huh huh ho uhm uh..."