DT Herbert

I ain’t some Hasidic hillbilly with a snoot full of honeybees.

Favorite films

  • In Bruges
  • Terminator 2: Judgment Day
  • Oldboy
  • Boogie Nights

Recent activity

  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre


  • Jackass Forever


  • Big Momma's House 2


  • Big Momma's House


Recent reviews

  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre

    Texas Chainsaw Massacre


    “I’ve seen bigger.”

    I can’t recall another movie made by one of the major studios that jumped through so many hurdles in order to drag itself out to feature-length. Netflix lists the runtime for this movie as 83 minutes; without credits, it is 73. I fast-forwarded through the credits to see if there was sequel bait - which there is, of course - and after that fifteen second scene concludes, there is, I shit you not, two minutes of black…

  • Jackass Forever

    Jackass Forever


    "This ain't a MENSA convention! We're gonna get down and dirty!"

    Definitely suffers from being shot during COVID to some extent, but this is the voice of my generation, and its still as wholesome and profane as ever. I appreciated there wasn't much poop in this one, and that they offset it with extra helpings of penile hijinks instead. The new members are actually pretty fun, and they don't take anything away from the OGs - Knoxville and Ehren in…

Popular reviews

  • Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness

    Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness


    Dark Days #4

    "I sold drugs to support my animal habit."

    Unfuckingbelievable. This is a real-life Coen Bros. movie. There's more interesting characters and narrative turns here than in most prestige dramas. It's an endlessly fascinating character study, a window into an absolutely insane business practice and subculture that the government is doing nothing about, and full-on crime epic featuring multiple unsolved mysteries, a whole lot of doubt, and no good guys.

    I don't really care a lot for TV,…

  • Little Fires Everywhere

    Little Fires Everywhere


    Dark Days #34


    Hot mess express right here. I don't even know where to begin with dissecting this clusterfuck of half-baked ideas. This was built up as the next prestige program from Reese Witherspoon's production house, but it's more like a well-shot CW show. The melodrama is off the charts. Every emotion is BIG, every interaction devoid of nuance. They tackle racism, abortion, philosophical questions on motherhood, probably ten other hot issues I'm not recalling, and not a single…