Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice ★★½

DO YOU BLEED???????

[whispers in baby soft voice after Superman flies away] "you will."

uguuhhhhhhghghgh …i kinda liked it. at least until the fighting starts, and it becomes a three ring circus of shit.

the first half of this movie shows the best of what superhero movies could be, while the second half swan dives into the worst of what they so consistently are.

the rare superhero movie that even *attempts* to drum up real stakes, Snyder manages to get out of his own way long enough to frame a relatively interesting moral conflict re: Superman's place on earth, and its attendant logistics... his relationship with Lois is underserved, and everything between Bruce Wayne & Scoot McNairy is disastrous, but the right ideas are put into place... and Eisenberg does a good job of selling us on his impotence. it's a monumental improvement on MAN OF STEEL and almost every nanosecond of the airless MCU until... until it's not.

until the fighting starts. and it turns out, rather predictably, that the film is too cowardly to confront the conflict it works so hard to establish. because nothing matters in these movies. nothing ever fucking matters in these movies. and that's a particularly noxious realization here, because Snyder establishes a scenario that might have helped to shift the needle, that might have helped "superhero movies" transcend the increasingly constrictive limits of their genre and become a milieu for a wide array of consequential stories... but i ultimately walked away feeling like an idiot for buying into the weight of what happens in the spectacular opening sequences.

also, good luck imagining a less dramatically satisfying way to reveal Wonder Woman's identity. i encourage you to try. talk amongst your friends. but your feeble attempts will prove futile.