Noah ★★

aka Russell Crowe's Vegemite Tales. when it rains, it bores. the most refreshingly strange $150+ million movie since Hugo, but Aronofsky's bombast has never been so dull. more than any of his previous films, NOAH exposes his fundamental weaknesses as a filmmaker... his affinity for bombast at all times, often at the expense of interesting drama. the rock monster angels and other assorted silliness is amusing enough, but to what end? ultimately a banal and unprovocative telling of – ugh – yet *another* origin story... and weighed down by convention of all things, especially in the godawful Ray Winstone character who brings absolutely zero to the narrative or the dynamic between Noah and his sons. Clint Mansell has never been less interesting... and yet, giving Aronofsky an ungodly (har har) amount of money is bound to result in a few interesting moments. a trampling scene in particular finds galvanizing strength in biblical scenarios, and the towers of water funneling upwards from the earth are a nice touch.

p.s. yes i know the bible is filled with incest cause #yolo but if you're adding rock angel monsters why not add a brother-in-law character or something to diffuse all the implied incest? so much implied incest. like ...so much.