Star Trek Beyond ★★★

slick, self-contained, and has the best music cue of any blockbuster this year. by the standards of summer 2016, it might as well be the sistine chapel.

and then someone asked me if it was "good." and i said "good? GOOD? it made me want to stand up and shout "REMEMBER MOVIES!?!?" these things are relative, people. STB is to Warcraft what Chris Pine is to *me.*

everyone is super charismatic. i liked that nothing really matters. i liked that there's no sense of needing to connect it to a bigger mythos. i liked that the *constant* fan service was barely perceptible for noobs like me (super trekkie Jordan Hoffman helped ID all the references for me afterwards). much of the action is jumbled and the villain is a bit of an afterthought (what else is new?), but at least he enters the fray with panache.

see you, space cowboys.