The Cobbler ½

How does one explain an atrocity?

There’s a strange sadness in realising that The Cobbler is the worst Adam Sandler movie that has been or will ever be made (and that’s not a claim we make lightly). By all rights, that dubious honour ought to be bestowed upon one of the cynical pieces of shit spewed out by Happy Madison Productions and aimed at the lowest common denominator like sewage from a hole cut in a pressurised septic tank.

And not one of the ones with Drew Barrymore — you know, those movies where Sandler almost seems to try — but like, one of those movies with Shaq. Instead, the history books of the future will show that the worst Adam Sandler movie of all time was a seemingly innocuous modern fable from the guy who directed The Station Agent. On the bright side, apparently they’ll still be making history books in the future. So at least there’s that.