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  • FYRE: The Greatest Party That Never Happened

    FYRE: The Greatest Party That Never Happened

    ★★★

    You probably first heard about the Fyre Festival on April 27, 2017, when the Sauron’s Eye of Twitter’s attention turned itself towards the Bahamian island of Great Exuma. A horde of millennials — lured south by a legion of social media influencers, supermodels, and the seductive promise of Blink-182 — thought they were about to become the Lewis’ and Clarks of a new Coachella. Alas, such dreams of a hedonistic beach weekend were soon dashed, as a quick look at…

  • The Kid Who Would Be King

    The Kid Who Would Be King

    ★★★½

    Joe Cornish’s long-awaited and largely delightful follow-up to “Attack the Block” is a unicorn of a children’s fantasy movie: It’s imaginative, it’s heartfelt, and it never feels like it’s trying to sell you anything more than a measure of hope for the future. Cornish may bite off a bit more than he can chew by trying to reinvent Arthurian legend as an epic, ultra-contemporary adventure for the kids of Brexit-era Britain, but the guy hasn’t been able to direct anything…

  • Replicas

    Replicas

    Frankensteined together from the stiff corpses of a dozen smarter movies, “Replicas” is a cloning thriller so carelessly stupid that it often feels like a mad science experiment gone wrong. In fact, the film is such an awkward chimera of stolen ideas that the premise alone violates the basic laws of screenwriting, and probably also those of nature itself.

    William Foster (Keanu Reeves, in a lifeless performance that’s silently praying for VOD) is the top neuroscientist at Puerto Rico’s Bionyne…

  • Glass

    Glass

    ★★

    A low-budget, high-concept superhero movie that’s as clever in its design as it is joyless in its execution, M. Night Shyamalan’s “Glass” is meant to be seen as some kind of demented self-portrait, but which of its dull characters is the long-suffering auteur meant to be? Is he “Unbreakable” strongman David Dunn (a vegetative Bruce Willis), the born survivor who can withstand any amount of pain and keep on coming back for more? Is he Elijah Price (a cunning Samuel…

  • Aquaman

    Aquaman

    ★★★

    I've seen it all
    I have seen this mad lark
    I have seen Willem Dafoe
    Ride a hammerhead shark
    I've seen a sad kraken
    Voiced by Julie Andrews
    An octopus play drums
    While Amber Heard looks confused
    I've seen the crab guys
    Aquaman's first selfie
    I've seen it all
    There is no more to sea.

    (i honestly couldn't decide whether to give this movie five stars or one, so i've settled on three)

  • Holmes & Watson

    Holmes & Watson

    ★★

    Ten years after “Step Brothers” was gifted unto humanity — and at least five since the world rightfully came to recognize that film as the Dadaist masterpiece that it is — Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly have re-teamed for a comedy that’s somehow even dumber than the one that first galvanized their incredible chemistry. That should have been a good thing. It isn’t.

    The trouble with “Holmes & Watson,” a witless Sherlock Holmes spoof that supplies fewer laughs in its…

  • Bumblebee

    Bumblebee

    ★★★

    hard to believe that john cena is going to get *two* nominations for Best Supporting Actor this year but you can't argue with the facts (he'll win for BLOCKERS, of course, assuming that Hugh Grant continues to get snubbed).

    convincing proof that every single movie franchise — no matter how miserable — can be redeemed by firing Michael Bay and moving to the 1980s. when the shapeshifting alien robot learns to love the Smiths… i felt that.

  • All Is True

    All Is True

    ★★½

    Kenneth Branagh’s “All Is True,” a heavily fictionalized biopic about William Shakespeare that focuses on his return to Stratford after his retirement, is the lifeless story of a man who gets to realize Jean-Pierre Melville’s greatest ambition: To become immortal, and then die. By the time this curious but inert character sketch of a movie begins, Shakespeare is already halfway there.

    Convincingly embodied by Branagh, who squeezes his head under a prosthetic hairline in order to bring his lifelong obsession…

  • Welcome to Marwen

    Welcome to Marwen

    ★★½

    In the rare event when a major Hollywood studio advertises one of its films as “the most original movie of the year” — as Universal has done in the trailer for “Welcome to Marwen” — it tends to be code for: “We spent a ton of money on something that we have absolutely no idea how to sell.” And while that was certainly the case here, it’s hard not to sympathize with the poor souls in the marketing department, who…

  • Vice

    Vice

    VICE is an *incredibly* damning portrait of Dick Cheney, in that verrrrry few people could inspire a movie this bad — this self-satisfied, this tonally incoherent, this misjudged — and *still* not have it rank among the 10 worst things they’ve ever done.

    Adam McKay was an “important" filmmaker until the moment he started trying to become one. i have endless faith that he’ll figure things out, but these recent history disaster satires (disastires?) aren’t it.

  • Never-Ending Man: Hayao Miyazaki

    Never-Ending Man: Hayao Miyazaki

    ★★★

    Here is just a tiny sample of the many different ways that Hayao Miyazaki — arguably the greatest animator the cinema has ever seen — describes himself in Kaku Arakawa’s documentary about the artist’s life since his most recent attempt to retire: “I’m an old geezer.” “I’m used up.” And, at the 2013 press conference where he publicly declared that his beloved Studio Ghibli would no longer be in the business of making feature-length films: “I’ve decided to treat any…

  • Springsteen On Broadway

    Springsteen On Broadway

    ★★★★

    “Springsteen on Broadway” might be the single best thing that Netflix has ever done. Which isn’t to say that it’s a better film than “Roma” or “Private Life” — or that it’s even a film, at all (it’s categorized as a “special”) — but that it epitomizes the full potential of a platform so large that it tends to crush whatever it touches. Beginning on December 16, just a few hours after Bruce Springsteen growls the final notes of his…