I've seen it all
I have seen this mad lark
I have seen Willem Dafoe
Ride a hammerhead shark
I've seen a sad kraken
Voiced by Julie Andrews
An octopus play drums
While Amber Heard looks confused
I've seen the crab guys
Aquaman's first selfie
I've seen it all
There is no more to sea.
(i honestly couldn't decide whether to give this movie five stars or one, so i've settled on three)
Ten years after “Step Brothers” was gifted unto humanity — and at least five since the world rightfully came to recognize that film as the Dadaist masterpiece that it is — Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly have re-teamed for a comedy that’s somehow even dumber than the one that first galvanized their incredible chemistry. That should have been a good thing. It isn’t.
The trouble with “Holmes & Watson,” a witless Sherlock Holmes spoof that supplies fewer laughs in its…
hard to believe that john cena is going to get *two* nominations for Best Supporting Actor this year but you can't argue with the facts (he'll win for BLOCKERS, of course, assuming that Hugh Grant continues to get snubbed).
convincing proof that every single movie franchise — no matter how miserable — can be redeemed by firing Michael Bay and moving to the 1980s. when the shapeshifting alien robot learns to love the Smiths… i felt that.
Kenneth Branagh’s “All Is True,” a heavily fictionalized biopic about William Shakespeare that focuses on his return to Stratford after his retirement, is the lifeless story of a man who gets to realize Jean-Pierre Melville’s greatest ambition: To become immortal, and then die. By the time this curious but inert character sketch of a movie begins, Shakespeare is already halfway there.
Convincingly embodied by Branagh, who squeezes his head under a prosthetic hairline in order to bring his lifelong obsession…
In the rare event when a major Hollywood studio advertises one of its films as “the most original movie of the year” — as Universal has done in the trailer for “Welcome to Marwen” — it tends to be code for: “We spent a ton of money on something that we have absolutely no idea how to sell.” And while that was certainly the case here, it’s hard not to sympathize with the poor souls in the marketing department, who…
VICE is an *incredibly* damning portrait of Dick Cheney, in that verrrrry few people could inspire a movie this bad — this self-satisfied, this tonally incoherent, this misjudged — and *still* not have it rank among the 10 worst things they’ve ever done.
Adam McKay was an “important" filmmaker until the moment he started trying to become one. i have endless faith that he’ll figure things out, but these recent history disaster satires (disastires?) aren’t it.
Here is just a tiny sample of the many different ways that Hayao Miyazaki — arguably the greatest animator the cinema has ever seen — describes himself in Kaku Arakawa’s documentary about the artist’s life since his most recent attempt to retire: “I’m an old geezer.” “I’m used up.” And, at the 2013 press conference where he publicly declared that his beloved Studio Ghibli would no longer be in the business of making feature-length films: “I’ve decided to treat any…
“Springsteen on Broadway” might be the single best thing that Netflix has ever done. Which isn’t to say that it’s a better film than “Roma” or “Private Life” — or that it’s even a film, at all (it’s categorized as a “special”) — but that it epitomizes the full potential of a platform so large that it tends to crush whatever it touches. Beginning on December 16, just a few hours after Bruce Springsteen growls the final notes of his…
At 88 years old, Clint Eastwood might be the hardest-working man in Hollywood. And now, with his second directorial outing of 2018 — and his best film since at least “Letters from Iwo Jima” in 2006, and perhaps 1993’s “A Perfect World” before that — he’s finally explained why.
Inspired by a Sam Dolnick article in the New York Times Magazine called “The Sinaloa Cartel’s 90-Year-Old Drug Mule,” “The Mule” is a far cry from the red state fantasy that…
A listless Sunday afternoon of a movie that bursts with forced whimsy and synthetic optimism from the first notes of “(Underneath the) Lovely London Sky” to the last twinkles of “Nowhere to Go but Up” (an admirably bold choice of song title for any film’s big closing number), “Mary Poppins Returns” isn’t dishonest so much as it’s out of its time, like a useless clock that’s happy to be five minutes off. In fact, that analogy is something of a…
“Mortal Engines” might not be a particularly good movie, but it’s a BIG one, and sometimes that can be even more important. Adapted (on steroids) from Philip Reeves’ neo-Victorian steampunk fantasy of the same name, this $100 million holiday-season event starts off like a supersized remake of “Fury Road,” as two mobile cities shoot massive harpoons at each other in a death race through the post-apocalyptic wastelands of Europe as Junkie XL’s bombastic score yowls in the background. Yes, mobile…
Tragic news for anyone who’s sick of superhero movies: “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” completely reinvigorates the genre, reaffirms why it’s resonating with a diverse modern audience that’s desperate to fight the power, and reiterates to us how these hyper-popular spandex myths are able to reinvent themselves on the fly whenever things get stale. Just when it seemed like “Infinity War” might be the culmination of a cultural phenomenon, that Stan Lee’s death could symbolize the end of an era, and…