RSS feed for ellie

Favorite films

Recent activity

All

Recent reviews

More
  • Minority Report

    Minority Report

    ★★★

    tom cruise: you're a twink
    colin farrell, chewing gum and drinking coffee simultaneously: and what about it?

  • Leave No Trace

    Leave No Trace

    ★★★★½

    can someone explain to me why both of the 2018 movies which specifically allude to the mating rituals of seahorses made me cry

Popular reviews

More
  • Black Panther

    Black Panther

    ★★★★½

    just a warning for all u bisexuals out there: you won't survive this movie. you just won't. i'm a lesbian and i was experiencing heart palpitations every time michael b. jordan was onscreen. please, save yourselves

  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    imagine having to go up to a harry potter fan from 2008 and explain some of this shit to them. 
    "so," you'd say, voice breaking, "here's the thing. dumbledore's secret brother, who is at least 20 years younger than dumbledore, was in a relationship with voldemort's snake." 
    "wait, so aberforth fucks goats and this new one fucks snakes?" they'd say, laughing with the blissful ignorance of not yet thinking this is real.
    "well, she's sort of human."
    "oh, like an…