tom cruise: you're a twink
colin farrell, chewing gum and drinking coffee simultaneously: and what about it?
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
imagine having to go up to a harry potter fan from 2008 and explain some of this shit to them.
"so," you'd say, voice breaking, "here's the thing. dumbledore's secret brother, who is at least 20 years younger than dumbledore, was in a relationship with voldemort's snake."
"wait, so aberforth fucks goats and this new one fucks snakes?" they'd say, laughing with the blissful ignorance of not yet thinking this is real.
"well, she's sort of human."
"oh, like an…