• Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

    Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

    ★★★½

    i have some questions for whoever decided ironheart should look like the world’s ugliest transformer

  • Dirty Dancing

    Dirty Dancing

    ★★★★★

    a couple whose love language is lip-syncing at each other

  • Babylon

    Babylon

    ★★★★

    worth the headache

  • Glass Onion

    Glass Onion

    ★★★★½

    obsessed with the scene where ed norton is cosplaying tom cruise in magnolia

  • Don't Worry Darling

    Don't Worry Darling

    ★★½

    needed more time in the cpine/fpugh psychological warfare chamber

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★

    at this point every tom cruise film should get to reuse the “hunt is the living manifestation of destiny” line

  • Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

    Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

    ★★★½

    this one goes out to rhys darby’s silly little explorer’s hat

  • What We Do in the Shadows

    What We Do in the Shadows

    ★★★★½

    call our flag means death what it is. atonement for making viago straight

  • CODA

    CODA

    ★★★★

    this rating is not a best picture endorsement

  • The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    ★★★★½

    malfunctioning loser robot is the role beck bennett was born to play

  • Fleetwood Mac: The Dance

    Fleetwood Mac: The Dance

    ★★★★½

    favourite parts are when stevie and lindsey are singing directly at one another with the weight of 30 years between them while christine, off to the side, calmly completes the harmony

  • The Batman

    The Batman

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    started actively pleading with the film when an unnamed inmate in arkham started talking. “don’t do it,” i begged. “please, not again.” but to no avail. we get six live-action cinematic jokers before even one jason todd, tim drake, damian wayne, stephanie brown, or duke thomas. says a lot about society