Love, Simon ★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

i’m still in a state of slight anxiety. the crushing weight on my chest is getting heavier. i almost came out to a couple of my friends tonight, but didn’t go through with it. and i almost did it because of this movie

that is so fucking corny, give me a second to apologize for making you read that. i’m so sorry

ok, we’re back. this movie is so..... much. and in the most unsuspecting way imaginable. and i honestly wasn’t expecting to like it much at all. but it was kind of... sublime, in it’s own small way. the idea of making a typical, cliche teen rom com about a gay guy could have been ruined in all kinds of ways, but ended up being such an enjoyable surprise for me

simon’s character is treated with care. his world, the people in it (for the most part), are well written and actually really funny sometimes. the plot is engaging and somehow interesting. the love interests and how it all unfolds is really something special. it has a nice aura to it, the kind that only really good teen movies can pull off. but unlike almost every teen movie i’ve ever seen, this message carries a weight to it that i thought would be hard to translate in this kind of movie. or in any kind of movie. i’m so happy to say that i was wrong

the realization of being gay, being in the closet and coming out are all such individually unique and universally relatable experiences, and to capture the feeling on screen must have been a challenge. but for me, they succeeded: simon keeps his secret close to his chest, but he’s not ashamed. he just isn’t ready. to realize something so important about yourself that has always been apart of you, but was undiscovered for so long that you have to figure out what to do with it, and how to fit it into the life you’ve already built. is there room? there has to be, right? to be living a lie, but only out of fear. to not know what to do with this piece of yourself that has to be inevitably shared with people that will most likely see you differently, even though it’s been with you all along. the confusion, denial, self loathing. the loneliness

but there’s also joy. this is who you are. this is who simon is. it has to be embraced. taking the piece and letting it see daylight and merge with the rest of your world is such a terrifying concept. the fact that the two have to merge at all is unfair. but it’s also a release. the crushing weight being set free, let it go. embrace the fear, let it move through you and breathe it out

there are numerous moments in this movie that i thought were cliche, but also quite a few impactful moments of complete uniqueness and tenderness: jennifer garner’s heartfelt speech is the stand out: “these last few years, it’s almost like i could feel you holding your breath - you can finally exhale, simon. you finally get to be more you than you’ve been in a very long time.” this made me cry, and i cried even harder when i realized what it’s going to mean for so many people, and all the closeted kids that will discover this movie for themselves for years to come

this movie is a snapshot, a moment in history. being gay, being a lesbian, being trans, being bi, etc, these are normal things. these are things that make people who they are. this movie isn’t the most adventurous kind of take on the lgbt community, and not everyone in the community will care for it. and that’s very understandable. but i’m really glad it had this effect on me. it was joyous and fun, heartbreaking and sincere. corny and cliche, maybe. far from perfect as far as movies go. but it works. and we deserve this. the world deserves this. and it’s about fucking time

i almost came out to a couple of my friends tonight, but didn’t go through with it. but i’m coming out here, now. if you didn’t know, now you do. i’m gay. i don’t want it to be a big deal, i just wanna let someone know this piece of me tonight when i failed at it earlier. when i’ll be fully ready to make that piece of me known to everyone around me i can’t say. but as much as i want to do it, i also don’t want to force it. the weight is crushing, but i don’t think i’m ready to part with it just yet. i’m glad this movie exists, and i’m glad it momentarily inspired me, but i also want to emphasize that coming out isn’t always something everyone can do or is ready to do for countless reasons. if you aren’t, if you can’t, i’m here for you. you’re not alone. hopefully your time will come, just like mine