2001: A Space Odyssey ★★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Ok. This was the watch that did it for me. I once found this intellectually heavy slice of Sci-Fi clam chowder to be slow, to be dull and boring. Yeah, I'm kind of a fucking idiot, huh? Well let me give you some context as to where, when and how I watched this film this time around.

Dallas, Texas 4:50 local time.

I had just boarded my flight home. Basically, I've just had the holiday of a lifetime with my kids and fiancée travelling around America, visiting the great states of California and Alaska. We squeezed in so much stuff I could write a fucking book about our exploits. But anyway, scoot forward to the end of the trip. We flew from California to Texas without a hitch, boarded the Texas flight that would take us home to England on time and I immediately started to go through the inflight entertainment thingy to find a movie to start the journey home with. Captain America 2? Seen it. Amazing Spiderman 2? Fuck that shit. 2001? I mean, what? 2001 on a fucking plane? Are you kidding me? Is this real? I couldn't pass up the opportunity, it just seemed like the perfect setting, you know, flying is practically being in space or some bullshit like that. Maybe. I'm not a fucking scientist but I'm pretty sure planes go to space. So I start the film. Sitting in a metal tube. In Texas. And it's 100+ degrees outside. And we don't take off. For an hour. We just sit on the fucking runway, cooking. And you know what? The time just flew by. I watched 74 mins being slowly (quickly) turned into a hotdog and it went by like the blink of a giant space baby's eye. The second half of the movie I watched in space* and I loved it. We actually hit some turbulence as Dave was deactivating Hal and it was like, I dunno, interactive immersion and shit. My advice to anyone who has seen this film and didn't get the hype would be to persevere. This is probably my 5th watch and it finally clicked. I've rated it 5 Stars before because I appreciated it as a work of art without necessarily enjoying it as a piece of entertainment but finally, finally it fucking clicked on all fronts with me. This film is flawless. A fucking masterpiece. The score is 5 Stars on its own. The effects.....CGI can't compete. Just fuck off with your computer generated crap, practical effects punch holes into your dogma. I will admit that some of the "future technology" is a bit dated and naff but Kubrick thought up iPads in the sixties like he was some kind of Leonardo da Vinci, so fuck you Steve Jobs, you cunt.

*crickets*

Steve Jobs is dead?

*shrugs like "so fuck?"*

*drops the mic*

*disclaimer: plane flight might not actually be in space

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