2001: A Space Odyssey

2001: A Space Odyssey ★★★★★


Ok, I got the whole premise of this challenge wrong last year. This year I have thoroughly read Lise's rules and I think I understand what I'm supposed to do now. I think we have to do impressions of people and connect them to the film 2001: A Space Odyssey somehow. I have to say that I think this is pretty weird, Lise, but I'm willing to give it a try because the consequences of not participating are just too grave to imagine. Lise has recently been outed as a Liam Neeson style "Taken" hitwoman. She doesn't know who you are. She doesn't know what you want. If you are looking for Ransom, she can tell you that she doesn't own it on Blu-Ray. But what she does have is a very particular set of skills, skills she has acquired over a very long career. Skills that make her a nightmare for people like us. If we give our impressions of 2001 now, that'll be the end of it. She will not look for you, she will not pursue you. But if you don't, she will look for you, she will find you, and she will, um, kill you? Seems pretty excessive.

So without further Apu, I give you 21 impressions of 2001. Or something.

1) "If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me HAL"
- Paul Simon

2) "HAL be back"
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

3) "I'm afraid of Americans
I'm afraid of the world
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't do that Dave"
- David Bowie

4) “You're only supposed to blow the bloody pod bay doors off!” 
Michael Caine

5) "Yippie-Ki-Ay, Leonard-Rossiter"
- Bruce Willis

6)  "I'm gonna make HAL an offer he can't refuse"
- Marlon Brandon

7)  "Dr. Heywood, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you?"
- Dustin Hoffman

8)  "Take your stinkin' paws off me, you damn dirty human."
- Charlton Heston 

9) "No, Mr. Bowman. I expect you to die!"
- Gert Frobe in Goldfinger 

10)  "HAL?...Darling. Light of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said: 'I'm not gonna hurt ya.' I'm just gonna bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash 'em right the fuck in! Ha, ha."
- Jack Nicholson

11) "The greatest trick the monolith ever pulled was convincing the world it didn't exist."
- Kevin Spacey

12)  "That's what I love about these Neanderthals, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
- Matthew McConaughey

13)  "Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not 'every man for himself.' The London Underground is not a political movement. And There won't be an impending failure of the AO unit within 72 hours. Those are all mistakes, HAL. I looked 'em up."
- Jamie Lee Curtis

14)  "I'm not bad. I'm just programmed that way."
- Jessica Rabbit

15)  "Nobody puts giant space Baby in a corner."
- Patrick Swayze

16)  "Frank, my dear, I don't give a damn."
- Clark Gable

17) "You talkin' to me, Dave? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me, Dave? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talkin' to?"
- Robert De Niro

18) "If you havin' HAL problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 2001 problems but an off switch ain't one"
- Jay Z

19) "HAL to the king, baby"
- Bruce Campbell

20) "HAL, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship"
- Humphrey Bogart

21) "HALkuna Matata"
- Timon and Pumbaa

I'm sorry.

Really sorry.

I'll show myself out.

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