Solo: A Star Wars Story

You know what? It's, ah, unconventionally structured, but I still really dig this. The escape from Empire planet --> train heist --> insurrection in the mining colony portion is a pretty rad, tight sci-fi action-adventure... and then there's another hour of, just, stuff. But much like London Calling, I'm not going to hold it against the awesome portion that you get more stuff after it. I guess the appearance of [redacted] from The Phantom Menace is the "Train in Vain" of this analogy. "You didn't stand by me, no not at all..." - it kind of fits!

But the "stuff" portion's still got the giant space squid and some funny lines and Han definitively shooting first, so it's still a pretty good time.

In the Negative portion of the ledger, explaining Han Solo's surname remains one of the most baffling creative decisions this side of [any frame of Rise of Skywalker]. What really kills me is, not only is "Han Solo" not anywhere near the top of the list of goofiest Star Wars names*, but THERE IS A REAL ACTUAL LIVING BREATHING SOMEWHAT FAMOUS HUMAN BEING ALIVE RIGHT NOW WHOSE HONEST TO GOODNESS GIVEN NAME IS "Hope Solo". "Han Solo" is closer to a "real" name than, say, Luke Skywalker or Leia Organa or Darth Vader or Anakin Skywalker, just among the main human characters.

And then you've got Wedge Antilles, Biggs Darklighter, Jek Porkins, Puck Naeco, Elyhek Rue, and Theron Nett, just among human Red Squadron members from A New Hope.

Mon Mothma, Crix Madine**, Tycho Celchu, "Hobbie" Kilvan, Arvel Krynyd, Grizz Frix...

* For my money, the very goofiest name in the whole franchise is actually a tie between Bevel Lemelisk*** (the good kind of goofy) and Qwi Xux (the bad kind of goofy). Both of them were principal architects of the Death Star, funny enough.

If we stick to just the canonical movies, I've got to go with Wedge Antilles, which is so goofy it almost doesn't even register as goofy, that's how goofy it is.

** For the record, I would absolutely change my name to Crix Madine.

*** Or Bevel Lemelisk.

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