Avengers: Endgame ★★★½

obviously not spoiling anything, but-
• this movie is three goddamn hours! this would have never happened when obama was president!!
* and it FEELS like three hours! i was legitimately SWEATY at the end of this movie! 
* and there isn’t even a goddamn post credits scene??? what in the!!!
* explicitly! gay! character!!!!!
* feel like this movie could’ve been a tight 60 minutes if they cut half of the one-liners and all of the scenes where someone reveals themselves by leaning in a doorway
* alan silvestri should’ve gotten a writing/directing credit
* unfortunately, disney did not equip theatres with extra staff to clean up the nerd cum that will be floating around your floors post-film, so please tip your ushers
* oh man... so many of the bad type of nerds are gonna be very mad about some of this movie and i can’t wait
* my mvps of the marvel cinematic universe remain the mvps. tony stark can go pound sand. shave your goddamn mustache... nasty... witcha mortdecai-lookin ass
* the credits on this movie... are....... SO weird
* i recently learned that marvel has been reading my letterboxd reviews, so i would just like to say- hi friends!! sorry about the nerd cum line. can i write a new blade movie. i have not read the comics and i will not be reading them

anyway, i think i liked it about as much as i ever could! interpret that phrase however you will! if you enjoy these movies, you will greatly enjoy this movie. marvel, please me about the blade script. it is a tight seven-tweets-long

edit: after sitting with this movie for a while now, i think i really liked it. i still maintain that it’s ridiculous at parts and has so many of the things I hate in these movies (does there need to be a one-liner on every page of this script???) but unfortunately, the prospect of seeing big groups of other people excited about it is so enticing to me that i... (sigh) might actually go see it in theaters again. and i will have a lot of fun. but i’m bringing a hand fan this time. obama would be so mad at me for supporting this