Eternals

Eternals

kumail nanjiani is such an “accessible” celebrity (read: nerdy interests, did comedy) that the discourse for this movie has been so embarrassing for the last two years, as people i once thought as nice and cool revealed that they’re actually weird and gross and socially spineless, with an undue love for grade school cattiness over anything else. felt very disarming to think “why are you all talking about this movie so much, who gives a shit” and suddenly remember that any relationship you have or will ever have with a person online will never be as valuable as the ability to say something rude about you, as opposed to the alternate option of simply just saying nothing at all. i know this has very little (nothing, even) to do with the 2021 chloe zhao film eternals but i don’t have the heart or time or willing level of openness to write the treatise on dysmorphia or body positivity or any of the shit i have to think about every time some fucking dork has tried to dunk on kumail for the last two years and it’s been truly upsetting and triggering to me for many a reason i simply don’t respect you all enough to get into here. i have no faith that i won’t get dunked on for this either and that’s whatever, public vulnerability feels pointless for reasons i’ve already dipped into up there. anyhoo, the reason i really wrote this all is because, what is there to say about eternals. it’s certainly a long film. i do not have any strong feelings about it. i liked when kumail did jokes and when lauren ridloff flirted with barry keoghan. i also liked brian tyree henry and his husband. angelina jolie is cool and i think her role in this movie is weird for a person of her star power. i giggled when the lower third location said “amazon” cause i was like “damn chloe, here too?” i don’t know what those post credit scenes meant but they feel exhausting to look into. movies should be 90 minutes

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