• Soul Surfer

    Soul Surfer


    Soul Surfer has some terrible dialogue and sketchy acting (esp from Carrie Underwood). But it's gorgeously shot, with amazing surfing scenes and Hawaii landscape.

    Oh, and ASR spends about 80% of the film in tiny bikinis.

    Also, Helen Hunt in a bikini top and tiny shorts? I didn't know that was something I wanted to see, but it didn't hurt my feelings.

    It's a sweet, inspirational story. I should have watched it sooner, but I figured I would hate it.

  • Brighton Beach Memoirs

    Brighton Beach Memoirs


    Gwynnie's mom has got it going on. . .

  • The Postman

    The Postman


    This movie is awful -- all corny lines and overstretched runtime and silly plot contrivances.

    It's awesome AF.

  • Loving Leah

    Loving Leah


    I live for the moment towards the end when Lauren Ambrose, laughing and crying at the same time, says, "But, we're already married."

    My name is NoeHat, and I love Leah.

  • A Stranger Among Us

    A Stranger Among Us


    Wow, was Griffith ever miscast here as a hardboiled NYC detective. She's gorgeous, tall, and leggy (just like her mom). But that voice. . .

    Later when she quits acting all emotionless badass and starts showing some actual emotion, she's much better. But she's still pretty bad.

    This one earns most of its points for the respectful treatment of the Hasidic Jews amongst whom she goes undercover. It's a fascinating world that initially seems thoroughly alien but becomes warm and homelike by the end. That aspect of the story is much more successful than the similar Witness, which no doubt inspired this script.

  • The Lego Batman Movie

    The Lego Batman Movie


    The relentless cheerfulness of Robin, the badassery of Alfred, Joker's desperate need to be hated by Batman, and the flashback to the Batman Movie Serials all won me over after I started the film by rolling my eyes.

    Oh, and Rosario Dawson covers a multitude of sins.

  • Loving Leah

    Loving Leah


    Boy marries Girl, who was previously married to his dead Rabbi brother. Boy and Girl fall in love.

    Sweet. Well acted. The leads are attractive. (Lauren Ambrose is particularly good at showcasing her naive fascination with mainstream society.) Strong supporting cast. Even some thoughtful questions about orthodoxy vs modernism.

    You know how this one is going to end just by seeing the poster. But I loved it just the same.

  • Like Father

    Like Father


    Kristen Bell gets jilted at the altar (is that redundant?). Her dad (Kelsey Grammar) she hasn't seen for 25 years shows up at the wedding. They go out drinking, and she drunkenly brings him along on the cruise that was meant to be her honeymoon.

    Not a bad setup, if nothing special.

    But then the whole thing becomes an infomercial for Royal Caribbean cruiselines. I wouldn't be shocked if they had funded the whole movie.

    Bell and Grammar are very…

  • Avengers: Infinity War

    Avengers: Infinity War


    Stylist: Ms. Johansson, we're ready for your Black Widow red hair-dye treatment.

    ScarJo: Fuck that. I'm doing this movie as a blonde. They should have given me a Black Widow movie.

  • Thor: Ragnarok

    Thor: Ragnarok


    I have been burned out on superhero movies. But I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected to do.

  • Mr. & Mrs. Smith

    Mr. & Mrs. Smith


    In the 2000's, Brad and Angie were the sexiest people on the planet.

  • Tomb Raider

    Tomb Raider



    Silly and cool at the same time. Vikander makes a wonderful Lara Croft for the modern day, and the action sequences felt suitably video-gamey without being too distracting. (okay, the bit with the rolling spiked logs may have been too videogamey.)

    Clearly, they hoped to make it a franchise. Was it successful enough? I don't know, but I would watch her again in as many TR films as she wants to make.