Solo: A Star Wars Story

It is a period of civil war. Rebel audience members, striking from movie review sites around the world, have won their first victory against the evil Disney Empire.

Yet while Solo has been rendered profitless, the evil DARTH KENNEDY has begun construction on a new film more terrible than even the dreaded Rogue One.

When completed, Episode IX will spell doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore quality to their beloved franchise . . .

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