Cube 2: Hypercube

Cube 2: Hypercube ★½

Hooptober 7 - Film #6 - And on the 6th Day a fifth rider road out and his name was Inevitable Disappointment

Producer: Right let's talk about this Cube sequel, I hear there's one guy in England who has rented it on video three times!
Lackey: Indeed Sir.
Producer: The thing about cubes though...  is that they're only three dimensional.... Boring? How about adding a fourth dimension?
Lackey: You mean time?
Producer: Yes.. is that what it is? ... Anyway imagine the tagline "A new dimension in fear"... marvellous. Plus the writers can fill half the runtime with meaningless techno babble and people drawing pictures of cubes and whatnot.
Lackey: People loved the traps..
Producer: Yes with ten times the budget we'll do them all with CGI. A CGI twirly thing, a CGI spikey thing, even a CGI moving wall.
Lackey: That sure sounds like death by cgi. You do realise our budget still won't stretch to good cgi?
Producer: Nonesene if it looks good enough for a Windows 95 screensaver it will look good enough for us.
Lackey: Ok any notes to the writers about the characters?
Producer: People liked the characters last time, so make them broadly the same and give them all the same character beats.
Lackey: Won't having another autistic character follow the first one too closely?
Producer: Oh just make him a woman with Alzheimer's or a blind girl or something. Do I have to think of everything?
Lackey: But if the characters do broadly the same thing, won't that rob the film of surprise and suspense? I mean we're not really going to have another character go crazy and try and kill everyone again are we?
Producer: Of course we are! It worked last time.
Lackey: Right... Oh that one guy from England called... He says Don't mess up the mystery of the Cube you stupid cu...
Producer: Ahem! That's alright... furnish the writers with these X Files videotapes, they can add some conspiracy nonesene about shady arms companies and the like.
Lackey: Anything else Sir?
Producer: Tell them to get some tits in it this time for Christ's sake.

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