The Northman

The Northman ★★★★½

What a fucking treat this was. Grand in scale, brutal with it's violence and exceptionally detailed regarding it's historical accuracy of costumes, mythology and production design. Alexander Skarsgård is built like a modern-day hercules, Anya-Taylor Joy is a literal goddess from head-to-toe, Claes Bang has an absolute dump truck of an ass and Willem Dafoe hangs dong for the third time in his career within the opening ten minutes. Skin is shown and sliced all throughout this banger, baby! I do wish that it was a bit gorier in it's action sequences and there's also a few instances of noticeably wonky CGI in parts but these little gripes never took me out of the experience. Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Eggers is the real deal. Studios need to give him free range to do whatever the fuck he wants. I would love to see him take on like a 1940s detective story about the hunt for serial killer or any type of hard-boiled film noir. Think about it, Eggys. It could be great!

🌊⛵️🏔🧑🏼🫂🧔‍♀️🤪🥣🐕👑🩸🗡🧔🏻‍♀️🙍🏼🛶💪🔥🛖🪓💇🏼🔗⛵️👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼⛰️🛖🧙‍♂️🐺🌋⚔️☁️🦄🤺

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