Favorite films

  • Wings of Desire
  • Messiah of Evil
  • The Falls
  • In the Dark

Recent activity

  • The Evil Within


  • Hologram Man


  • Caveat


  • Stuart Bliss


Pinned reviews

  • Batman Returns

    Batman Returns


    Casting call for a living eggman lunatic...casting call for a spherical Boschian superfreak...must be willing to drool black fluid and speak the words "What you put in your toilet, I put on my mantel!" with alarming conviction...please contact Tim Burton at earliest convenience...

  • The Draughtsman's Contract

    The Draughtsman's Contract

    [I sustain a spinal cord injury while rolling the R in "ribald," but recumbency increases the distance between the top of my head and the ceiling, permitting me a much greater volume of powdered wig. I am the toast of the season.]

Recent reviews

  • The Evil Within

    The Evil Within

    Needs another decade on the shelf at minimum, but I've never been more confident that I'm watching a future cult classic. Will look like Messiah of Evil to a generation raised on photorealistic CGI.

  • Hologram Man

    Hologram Man

    ❌ solar
    ❌ wind
    ❌ geothermal
    ☑️ two battling hologram men in white bodysuits with long beautiful hair

Popular reviews

  • Vibes



    I'm grateful to live in a universe in which "psychic Indiana Jones with Jeff Goldblum and Cyndi Lauper" is an actual film that got produced and released and not just the final dream of a dying madman

  • Sonic the Hedgehog

    Sonic the Hedgehog

    Sonic fans are reliably the most sexually deviant group of human beings in world history, so trying to dredge this sucker out of the uncanny valley seems like a move in the wrong direction. Give Sonic a vore fetish and dub some creepy subaudible frequencies over the soundtrack #myfivecents