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  • Malibu Express

    Malibu Express

    ★★★★

    The tone of the voice over had me thinking of John Candy voicing the kid who gets transmogrified into Den in Heavy Metal.

  • The Tenement

    The Tenement

    Nothing better than a two-hour runtime on a Pendulum disc!

  • Foes

    Foes

    ★★★★★

    This has so much saucer going on in it--posing for superior album covers all about the rocky coastline during the day and pulling inexplicable & spooky saucer shit at its contactees by night.

    In some cases it can feel as though I've dug right through what seem the whole extant batch of certain little clusters of alike movies, so for something else in that bygone vein of mysterious UFOness to have been out there totally off my radar has been really…

  • Crawl

    Crawl

    What if this was about those whoevers who need to be stealing an atm during cat 5 weather rendered hopeless like the Star Wars trash compactor, and the alligators weren't cartoon piranha and maybe even had a menace & personality correspondent to their millions of years and not supplied by Barry Pepper (no offense) sub-Jurassic Park swim coach wisdom.

  • Mothra

    Mothra

    ★★★★★

    Dang, I guess I've never been tuned in enough before to see just how seriously all-out & scrumptious the sfx work is here--Infant Island flora grotesque, every tank maneuvering with its little dude peeping out, all the swept away cars into the corners of a crumbling New Kirk City. Also, the rest is good.

  • Screamers

    Screamers

    ★★★

    Poorly evinced, but in that way like how dreams sometimes make known their greater, elaborate & bendy conceits afoot while your whereabouts in them are kept mundane, vacant & peripheral.

  • Feral

    Feral

    ★★★

    Some grandpa cryptozoologist watches a couple do a super dull cascade of murders on his cctv coverage of their trailer & random clusters of saw palmetto occasionally rustled through by a passing bigfoot or chupacabra or other not-so-indelible mystery that stole their little girl. Definitely scant & monotonous, but hard not to find an appreciation of the spaced-out, narcotic quality with which it carries itself, like when the dad tells mom "there's something else I found out there" and straight up hands her their girl's little skull all wet & tacky with bits of crimson tissue.

  • Ironmaster

    Ironmaster

    ★★★★

    sticks & stones can pop brains from shucked skullbone but swords make Vood a caveking

  • The Green Slime

    The Green Slime

    ★★★★★

    cutting lawn & stuff all day still asking myself what can it be? what is the reason? guhreeeeen sliiiaaaaghhmmmuh

  • It Lives Again

    It Lives Again

    ★★★★

    The woozy sweep of spectral police is scarier than monster babies.

  • Dragged Across Concrete

    Dragged Across Concrete

    ★★

    It's something when it's throbbing along like a horror movie, but so casually strewn with strident, state fair prize-sized turds, and who knows which are incidental or for competition. Hard to fathom anyone thinking Zahler's threading any needle watching his stunted filmmaking chops come disguised as an equivocal remove. The scene with Gibson, Vaughn, & Don Johnson reminded me of a freshman creative writing workshop.

  • At the House of Madness

    At the House of Madness

    ★★

    Some s/low-key eerie suburban ranch-set Steve Sessions stuff that I like, fake distressed film filter warts & all, but! I seem to totally despise every tale I've come across about ventriloquists & their dummies, and that segment here is extra boring molasses to boot. The dummies never creep me out, the relationships between them isn't ever morbidly curious to me either, regardless of whatever turns may come--I just feel like an abject revulsion toward it all, and not in a horror-conducive way.…