Eternals ★★★½

I believe the people behind the MCU want to make a good, "award worthy", comic book movie. I believe they have seen and enjoyed good, emotional, character driven films. Or perhaps they just buy a bunch of Criterion discs to stick on a shelf and think that makes them aficionados? Sounds weird but I've met people like that.

This was for sure weighed down by its ambition, however it does deliver on some fixes for complaints in the series. Namely, stakes. There are life and death consequences to "immortal" heroes in this movie which was sort of refreshing. It addresses mental-illness in a round about yet interesting way giving characters some depth. But the breadth of the story, the background of a group of characters that no one really cared about is what ultimately makes it "ok".

Is it the worst MCU movie ever? Not by a long shot. Shit it's not even the worst MCU movie released this year. But it's got issues, CGI issues, length issues, at it's core...underwhelming story issues and virtue signaling issues. Yes, inclusivity and representation are good things but you don't need to jam every ingredient in the fridge into your recipe. If the Eternals are (and possible spoiler, but why would you really be reading this much shit unless you watched it?) essentially bioengineered robots with an undrainable lithium battery, why would you create a deaf one, or a child for that matter? The Celestials made them, so giving one a disability seems sort of counterintuitive. There's a more reasonable way to work in that type of character elsewhere.

But honestly, a few shears with the lathe to smooth out the edges, mainly on that run time, and this would have been a fairly good MCU movie.

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