DoctorDoom has written 83 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Zack Snyder's Justice League

    Zack Snyder's Justice League

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A flag planted on a barren world.

    I want to start off by saying that I have nothing personal against Zack Snyder. As far as I can tell, he is the real deal: an auteur without an ego, a genuinely nice person, an artist who cares for everyone who works under him. That's a rare thing in the film business, and it's something everyone should be happy about.

    I also have nothing but sympathy for him and his family in…

  • There Will Be Blood

    There Will Be Blood

    The title refers to what will happen to me when Film Twitter finds this review

  • I'm Thinking of Ending Things

    I'm Thinking of Ending Things

    Absolute claptrap. Two hours and fifteen minutes of contempt for art, culture and humanity at large distilled into indie darling "surreal psychological thriller as metaphorical trauma portrait" checklist soup. I seriously considered giving this a one star if not for Jessie Buckley single-handedly trying her damnedest to keep it above water. Another one of those movies that thinks it's skewering its male lead to make A Point™ about how the female lead is treated when everything in its structure and…

  • Fantastic Mr. Fox
  • The Old Guard

    The Old Guard

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The movie that the ending teases for the sequel would have been infinitely more compelling than the movie we actually got to see.

    Reheated leftovers from a Bryan Singer X-Men screenplay retrofitted into a bland Highlander riff that papers over having no worthwhile new ideas with a nominal commitment to diversity. Nice touch, but it'd be way better if the characters were interesting or if I cared about what happens to them. So much potential for creative combat with a…

  • Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

    Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Birds of Prey (and There's No Way I'm Writing the Full Title of This Thing Every Single Time) is bad in that unique way that nearly all DCEU films (besides Wonder Woman) are bad. Incoherent screenplays, ugly visual palettes, an aversion to any kind of conventional structure, complete misrepresentations of classic comic book characters and a pervasive sense of being willed into being by a corporate mindset simultaneously ashamed that superhero movies bankroll the rest of their studio but also…

  • Marriage Story

    Marriage Story

    Rough.

    I don't "get" Noah Baumbach. I never have. I don't know if it's because I process movies and emotions and pretty much everything differently than he does. Whatever it is, I am always left cold by his work, with one exception: Frances Ha, which is not only the best movie he's ever made, but also the only one that, to me, felt like it had both a coherent sense of self and actually managed to get me to feel…

  • Solo: A Star Wars Story

    Solo: A Star Wars Story

    (long sigh)

    The only Star Wars movie that doesn't feel like a Star Wars movie.

    Some people will think that's a different criticism than I'm actually making, but whatever. As frustrating as the prequels are, I can respect that they were incredibly ambitious and were trying for something. This doesn't try for anything. I'm not even one of the "Release the Lord and Miller Cut!" people. The bits and pieces of this that feel like them don't work either. I…

  • Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

    Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

    Ugh, what the fuck

    Revenge of the Sith is commonly referred to as the "best" of the prequels. Some even consider it to be in league with the Original Trilogy. Quite frankly, I think that's beyond absurd and bordering on insane. I'm part of the minority contingent who think it's the worst of the main saga, not necessarily because it's devoid of any merit but because of how hard it blows all the potential it has. You have to try

  • Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

    Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

    Finally doing my Episode IX rewatch so it's time to talk about all these damned Star Wars movies

    It's been several years since I've watched any of the prequels. I know a lot of people have turned around on them, and that many of the kids who grew up with them are now adults who still love them. I was one of those kids. This movie came out when I was five years old. I watched it four times at…

  • The Neon Demon

    The Neon Demon

    Everyone has dreams. Artists strive to create art that will be remembered after they're gone. Scientists work to better society and further our collective knowledge. People hope they'll accomplish something that justifies their existence.
    Models pray they're beautiful enough to edge out the competition.

    I have no doubt that Nicolas Winding Refn sought to make a grand thematic statement with The Neon Demon. Known for cultivating an image of being the cutting edge of cinema (and with the cult following…

  • The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

    The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

    Based on the 1960s television show of the same name, The Man from UNCLE is a movie that seemingly everyone tried to make at some point in the twenty years prior to its release, only to show up with little more than a half-hearted shrug and a blazing $50 million hole in the studio's budget.

    For a property that's been around almost as long as perennial spy favourite James Bond, that's a pretty poor showing. Perhaps the blame lies in…