Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Star Wars: The Last Jedi ★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

REBEL SCUM
just some thoughts I feel like yelling out loud:
-what really should've happened when poe and rey first met:
poe: hi! i'm bi-uh-poe
rey: hi! i'm rey! i'm gay

-general hux is back on his "first ORDAAAH" bullshit
-the rey and luke scenes on the island,, basically shrek (2001)
-this movie is also like kung fu panda (2008) in so may ways.. kylo is tai lung, rey is po and luke is a mix of master shifu and master oogway
-lemme tell you something...kylo ren is one punk ass bitch!!
-like a wise friend of mine once said...kylo and hux's mutual workplace bullying is more shippable than reylo! because I believe we should ship trash with trash! I love one (1) trashy otp,, kylux. they're like jesse and james from pokemon.. BUT LIKE JESSE AND JAMES ARE WAY BETTER THEY HAVE A DECENT LEVEL OF SASS kylo and hux are punk ass bitches. when hux repeats what kylo says and then he looks at him that's literally more interesting than the whatever the fuck they were tryna do with kylo and rey. even when kylo force-chokes hux for a moment I couldn't help but yell "kinky!!1!" in the theater
-ok but when luke's projection appears from the fumes of the dust of kylo's failed attempts to kill him... and dusted his shoulder.. I had my longest yeah boi moment
-I LOVE ROSE TICO. I WILL LOVE AND SUPPORT HER ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT
-I also loved the finn-phasma fight! MORE OF THAT EPIC SHIT PLEASE! wish it would've lasted longer.. phasma's so badass i really stan gwendoline christie! I'm glad I got to see her eye i this film. thanks a bunch finn!
-captain, commander, cuddly bear poe dameron. what A MAN
-wish there wasn't so much fuckin rey and kylo bullshit in this film. rey saying "ben" in a soft tone? bitch why would she? who in their right mind would think that's possible? LKSDBHDAEH hate rian johnson right now
-benicio del toro's character literally just walked in the film and then left like uhh ok?
-OK BUT R2D2 PLAYING THE HELP ME OBI WAN KENOBI YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE HOLOGRAM OF LEIA TRIGGERED MY LACRIMAL GLANDS DID I ASK
-luke looking at the horizon is my favourite genre of film, sorry yoda
-can't believe one of poe's first dialogues in this involved he words "naked" and "finn" like.. good job queerbaiting, team! if we don't get some real action in the next film I'm pretty sure the entire cast's gonna bail cause they ship finnpoe harder than we do
-admiral holdo was a nice person and I wish they portrayed her as a nice person throughout!!1!
-don't know what to say about finnrose really. I don't have a problem cause I know they're all gay :) don't we love a platonic kiss representing gay solidarity
-I love my princess.. my general... leia I love you. carrie. I miss you so much <3
-this is the first star wars movie I've seen in the theater (yes bite me I didn't know a star wars when tfa was in theaters) so I feel blessed... watching the crawl at the start I almost shed a tear
-porgs and crystal critters
-love salt
-idk why kylo reminds me of johnny from the room (2003) so much. they're really similar except for the fact that johnny's better lmao

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