Favorite films

  • Wings of Desire
  • The Taking of Pelham One Two Three
  • Sexy Beast
  • Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters

Recent activity

  • The Babadook


  • Let the Right One In


  • When Harry Met Sally...


  • The Amusement Park


Pinned reviews

  • Evil Dead II

    Evil Dead II


    As a kid, I’d see Evil Dead II in video stores all the time. I wasn’t allowed to rent it, so I’d just stand in the aisle and look at the VHS art, staring at the weird skeleton guy on the front of the box; he had disturbingly human eyes. For years, I wondered about the skeleton man. “What’s his deal? What’s his name? Is he villain or hero? Does he have a personal life?” When I was 16, I finally watched…

  • Paint Your Wagon

    Paint Your Wagon


    I, too, would build Jean Seberg a cabin in California if she asked me to. I, too, would agree to a polyamorous relationship with Jean and my best friend Clint Eastwood, who owes me a life debt because I saved him from the wreckage of a bloody wagon accident. I, too, would dig a complex system of tunnels beneath the weird mining town that I literally helped build so that I could clandestinely gather gold dust through the floorboards of saloons. I, too, would wear a cartoonishly large Ambrose Burnside mustache so that people can’t recognize me in the terrible, 164-minute period musical Paint Your Wagon.

Recent reviews


Popular reviews

  • Halloween



    The climax is pretty fun. There are moments of cool gore. It’s not a bad movie, really, but when I’m watching it, my head feels completely empty. There’s nothing here.

  • The Thing

    The Thing


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    If you’re an alien Thing who can perfectly imitate every life-form it encounters, and you somehow get foiled by a small group of antisocial dudes who dress like long-haul truckers, then maybe you should go back to Thing school because you clearly don’t know how to Thing well enough yet.