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  • Hellboy

    Hellboy

    ★★★½

    "I'd appreciate a prophecy with smaller and more relatable stakes." - Hellboy

    Sorry Red; it's another Lovecraftian apocalypse for you. But if it's any consolation, they try to cram as many references to your "smaller" adventures in as possible; from vampire luchadores, to baby-snatching faeries. The downside is these moments taking up space where the slow bits should be, and making the whole endeavor seem even more overblown and exhausting.

    I can understand the appeal of including those elements, though.…

  • Cavalcade

    Cavalcade

    ★★

    OSCAR WATCH

    Yikes. Was this the only film that came out in 1933? Because the Oscars could have totally just skipped a year.

    Multi-generational, "Upstairs, Downstairs" style melodrama about British life in the early twentieth century. Almost shockingly aimless. "Stuff happened" is the point, I guess? Inexplicably written by Noel Coward.

    There's one pretty cool sequence, in which they show the entirety of The Great War in a single montage. We see soldiers marching towards a (clearly fake) city, singing…

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  • A Brighter Summer Day

    A Brighter Summer Day

    ★★★★★

    I mean. . .

    One of the best coming of age films AND one of the best gang films. But that makes it sound tropey, when it really resists most traditional classifications. It's funny, heartwarming, romantic, dramatic, and horrific. Go in knowing that it's four hours long; or, about eight hours shorter than whatever meandering Netflix show you were planning on watching instead.

  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    ★★★★★

    THE LAST DRIVE-IN

    Most horror films are, honestly, just a laugh. (And I say this as a huge fan of the genre.) Maybe 10% of horror films are actually scary. But of that number, about 10% feel actually dangerous to watch. I think of that small percentage as "pure horror"; the films that actually made good on the promises of the deranged VHS covers of my youth.

    The Texas Chain Saw (Chainsaw?) Massacre is kind of the gold standard for…