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  • Dick Night

    Dick Night

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    NOT A HORROR MOVIE though it's listed under "Halloween picks" on Prime under the title Rachel Gets Strange. Also not a new release. Also, not very good.
    A woman spends two months holed up in her house after being stiffed at the altar until she decides it's time to get over her ex by getting under someone, anyone, else.
    Yes, there are "vampires" (Meth addicts who love Twilight, to be technical) but they don't show up until the last 20…

  • Tremors 3: Back to Perfection

    Tremors 3: Back to Perfection

    If you thought Graboids were bad, then thought Shriekers were worse, welcome to the final evolution in the life cycle of progressively worse versions of a voracious Precambrian life form: the ASS BLASTERS.
    CGI has come to Perfection and it ain't pretty. Doesn't matter much though because the story is too much fun to really care!
    Burt Gummer is allowed to be full Burt Gummer, no longer second string and folks in his hometown are really starting to respect, and…

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  • Wheels of Terror

    Wheels of Terror

    A twat waffle of an aggressive driver is terrorizing a small desert town with his his shitty spin outs, engine revving, and fish tails. Oh, and he's also abducting and abusing little girls. Twat waffle!
    A professional school bus driver has just moved to town with her own little girl, and lo and behold, the poor child is taken by Mr T Waffle right in front of mom as she's picking her girl up from school. In the SCHOOL bus.…

  • Don't Breathe

    Don't Breathe

    Unpopular opinion: I did NOT like this movie.
    A home robbery gone awry COULD be a synopsis of this movie, but it would egregiously ignore the gaping holes in logic (do loud noises make blind people unable to function? Would a man keep 3 hundred thousand dollars in cash that he'd legit won in a lawsuit in some puny house safe instead of a bank? Would Chica still say no cops I want the money after her boyfriend gets murdered…