Suspiria ★★★½

Most Tildas Swinti since Teknolust. Why? Just like with at least half of the creative choices in this movie... who knows? Deeply flawed, with a terrible script- good physical performances but everyone stumbles over the stilted and unnatural words. And yet... it's aesthetically great, super gnarly, and sports a 10 minute stretch in the last act that I still can't quite believe I saw in a theater- it just had to shoot itself in the foot by trying to give the story an emotional core of a cross-dressing Tilda Swinton (credited under a pseudonym for no discernible reason- and speaking of no discernible reason, why is Swinton playing that role in the first place, especially when the role seems perfect for Suspiria veteran Udo Kier?) coping with the legacy of fascism. There's a great horror movie about witches in here somewhere, one that might even rival the original, but with an hour of padding and clear desires to be more than just that (is this the first "elevated eurohorror"?), you're left with an inscrutable mess- I've got a feeling I'm either over or underrating this, and I couldn't tell you which. A rewatch may help me figure that out, but I'm sure not looking forward to giving this another nearly Heat-length chunk of time. But hey- if it makes an Argento fan out of just one Call Me By Your Name-lover, it'll have been worth it.

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