Spider-Man: Homecoming ★★★★

Marvel Cinematic Universe (Phase 3) Film 16

Peter Parker is having a hard time readjusting to the life of a normal kid after the events of "Captain America: Civil War" and who could blame him? While waiting for that next call from The Avengers he needs to focus on passing his classes and being his friendly neighborhood hero. Helping old ladies, stopping petty thieves, and things of the sort. New York City is plagued by black market alien weapons salvaged from the two previous Avengers films. The premier weapons dealer is a man named Adrian Toomes, a once honest construction contractor turned criminal when the government destroyed his business. He creates a suit out of salvaged alien tech to become "The Vulture" and he's on a collision course with Spider-Man who is learning that being a hero and leading a normal teenage life is a juggling act of extraordinary proportions.

I've always been a Tobey Maguire guy but he's not my Spider-Man anymore. Tom Holland is the best of all time. He really nails teenaged Spidey in every way. Some people hate how Spider-Man is in Tony Stark's shadow in the MCU but I think it was a great approach. I have a feeling it's going to be made clear in the future, just like the MJ role. I'm not a fan of the MCU's choice for Mary Jane, and it's not just because of the annoying one-name thing. However they did change her name to Michelle which I think is classy and differentiates this one from the real Mary Jane Watson. So I can't be that mad about it. It may even play into the "multiverse" concept that Marvel seems poised to unleash in phase four. We'll see.

The Marvel Studios logo and the Spider-Man theme go so well together. The best Spider-Man films are Marvel Cinematic Universe films and it sucks that they have to play hardball with Sony. Full disclosure, I'm not a big Sony fan, and although I understand their business interests, I wish they weren't involved with Marvel in any capacity outside of video games. In the current state of things they will continue to piggyback on the MCU's success while pumping out inferior "Spiderverse" films. I wish Disney would just empty some of their wallet that eclipses the economy of third world countries and just buy the remaining Marvel characters that Sony has the license for. Seeing their name in the credits dozens of times and even immediately after the "Spider-Man will return" is enough to trigger dry heaves. Fuck off, Sony.

As a Queens boy myself I'm a Spider-Man and a New York Mets guy. Watching him riding the 7 train and web slinging past familiar locations is awesome. So is the ferry scene. Fuck does that rule. The Marvel CGI excellence shines once more in everything from the fight scenes to Spider-Man slinging around town. Even the suit is so detailed that it seems to have pores. Michael Keaton plays a great part as the Vulture and serves as a legitimate first villain for Spider-Man in the MCU. He's bad, but not "end of the world" bad and it plays well here.

Spider-Man Homecoming fucking rules and you need to watch it.

NYC resident bonus: This film makes the Cyclone roller coaster at Coney Island look much better than it looks in real life. In real life it's some kind of shady miracle that the thing still exists. That hasn't stopped me from riding it at least 20 times in my life and even though I'm not the protesting type, I'd be there like a dick with a sign if they ever tried to tear it down. Long live The Cyclone!

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