John Wayne of the Internet

John Wayne of the Internet

Pro

Duke of Podcasting/John Wayne of the Internet
Host of Movie Melt! Podcast

Favorite films

  • Makin' Tracks to Branson
  • Monkey
  • The American Scream
  • Stairway to Stardom

Recent activity

All
  • Psycho Cop Returns

    ★★★

  • It's All Not So Tragic

    ★★★★½

  • Tugboat

    ★★★★

  • Bikini Squad

    ★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • Psycho Cop Returns

    Psycho Cop Returns

    Ain’t no Maniac Cop II, but it will do

  • It's All Not So Tragic

    It's All Not So Tragic

    ★★★★½

    Miles Dougal stars a film historian that can’t keep his hands off his floppy penis, and thus sabotages his career when he masturbates during a DVD commentary.  
    His therapist suggests he go on a relaxing vacation to recover after the traumatic event. So, he takes a road trip on the back of a mobility scooter to a classy hotel where he meets the cult of Walt Dongo, has a shootout with sheisty pimp and hooker, fucks a vacuum in clown costume, is attacked by a rabid Giuseppe Andrews foaming at the mouth. Many lessons are learned including and how to see out his pee hole.

Popular reviews

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  • Showgirls 2: Penny's from Heaven

    Showgirls 2: Penny's from Heaven

    There’s a line in this movie: “The one that’s able to fool the world for being dumb, is the one we should all watch out for”

    I think a lot of people dismiss this movie as dumb because it has a ditzy lead, T&A, and brightly colored lipstick — but this movie has brains too.

    Rena Riffel did everything behind the scenes — wrote, directed, starred, edited, makeup and hair, location scouted, lugged around all the equipment, and even craft…

  • Trancers

    Trancers

    ★★★★½

    How did I not know this was a stunning Argento lit neo-noir with a banging goblinesque soundtrack? Where did all the Italian come from?? Why aren’t more of your movies like this Charles Band?????

    It’s a blade runner ripoff except it’s got Helen hunt with pink hair outrunning cops on a motor scooter. And Timmy Thomerson traumatically killing Santa in front a bunch of kids in the mall. 

    Another nice touch is that future is all senior citizens, but they’re…