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  • Satantango

    Satantango

    A REVIEW FOR MY #1 FAVORITE FEATURE FILM OF MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE, AND MAYBE FOREVER WITH A 99.95% PROBABILITY.

    Don't read it as a review, but as a magazine article. This is the longest thing I have ever written about one single film, but it is also the only review that made me cry out of sentiment while constructing it.

    Before starting to construct a modest, fully developed essay about Béla Tarr's Sátántangó, let's make a nostalgic resume about some…

  • The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover

    The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover

    ***One of the best 150 films I have ever seen.***

    As any brilliant avant-garde film, Peter Greenaway's absolute masterpiece is an attack to the senses. This attack, however, has the sensual danger of awakening the most primitive instincts of the human being. It has always been interesting to notice Greenaway's past focus on architectonic stillness and provocative imagery with symbolic representations. This film is no exception. Conglomerating bizarre elements and a literally unbeatable sense of humor that abounds in cleverness…

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  • Song of Avignon

    Song of Avignon

    ★★★★½

    You know what cognitive dissonance is? It's a disharmony between two streams of thought, or in the case of appreciation of artforms, two stimuli provoking opposite reactions. I use that term a lot in my reviews (tons, really). Mekas is no stranger to Brakhage-like techniques when it comes to communicating real-life scenarios, documenting life in a spectacular fashion.

    This short film exercise is special, as the voiceover, robotic and monochromatic by intention, is the second most existentialist narration you will…

  • Beyond the Black Rainbow

    Beyond the Black Rainbow

    ★★★½

    #3 out of 6 recommendations by Twitch followers

    Recommended by LaloRetro

    Retrofuturistic aesthetics limited by the frame, but desperately trying to expand the viewer's mind without achieving so. The film itself is unstable in its endless possibilities and unknowns, caught in its own complexity and pervasive visual invasiveness, its intoxicatingly dark aura that it does actually become dull, having a catastrophic twist of style in the final act and dragging a lot in the middle. It's not about being able…

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  • Love Exposure

    Love Exposure

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    WARNING. The following movie has:

    1) 237 minutes in length
    2) The movie title appearing after one hour of running time
    3) A drag
    4) Tosatsu
    5) Kung-fu
    6) Sex
    7) Genital gore
    8) Ultraviolence
    9) Lesbians
    10) A "Virgin Mary"
    11) Erections
    12) Kung Fu butt-kicking female teens
    13) Psychotic menopausal females
    14) Pornographic furniture
    15) A Joshuu 701-gô: Sasori (1972) tribute with a pinky film spoof character called "Miss Scorpion"
    16) Love
    17) Romance
    18) "Exposure"
    19) Lust…

  • Drive

    Drive

    ★★★★★

    Before you ask, this is not my first Refn movie. In that way, I can know that:

    - He still likes to dress his crooks with light grey pants and have some of them bald, like if they were still living in Denmark.
    - He still uses an awesome techno soundtrack (with some pop touches that I can forgive) to open his films and to close them. The underground nudist dive bars / seedy joints cannot be omitted, of course.…