September Horror 2021, day 12, challenge #25 - dreams/nightmares

kiinda love how the trailer made this look like some super-serious Conjuring shit and then we got this goofy bastid and people are maaaad 😂 That first scene, WTF? I thought it was gonna be some cheesy medical drama someone was watching but nope, actual part of the movie! Then bam! right into some 2003 police procedural opening credits, it's CSI: Malignant! (I'm not even kidding, there is a CSI team.)

So how did I feel about this movie? I have no idea! It's sort of a retelling of <redacted>, which is cool, but there's a weird John Wick-style action sequence which I am here for in a John Wick movie but maybe not so much in a spoopy James Wan movie? My brain kind of shut off at that point. Not that it wasn't filmed well, everything in this looks amazing, it just momentarily killed my vibe (along with several hundred cops).

The BEST part of this movie is Underground Seattle!! I first learned of this amazing place in The Night Strangler and here it is 45 yrs later still looking dope af and I wanna go so bad!! Maybe if you live in Seattle you're like yeah whatever, it's no big deal, but I've never been to Seattle and I assure you it's a very big deal. (Is there anything more universal than the complete disinterest locals have for their tourist spots?) Ooh a Spooky Abandoned Hospital too, you spoil me Malignant! Aaand counting down to the Lone Creaky Old-timey Wheelchair - bingo! That had to be intentional, James Wan is as amused by that trope as I am. cool.

Shoutout to the 400 heavy curtains this lady apparently has to close every night. What is with the houses in these movies?? I don't even know what else to say, this was batshit and intentionally so, it's a fun watch even if a few bits took me out. Like say you were watching a Conjuring movie and someone suddenly got possessed or w/e and just started roundhouse kicking everyone to the face. (petition to have Vera Farmiga just kick the shit out of everyone in the next Conjuring movie in her long fancy skirts.) It reminds me of that period in the 80s/90s when Stephen King was coked out of his mind and just did whatever. This is an homage to very coked out movies and maybe that's exactly what we need rn? I like to think James Wan was just really high on life and whatever's in the dust in Underground Seattle.

Unrateable, but probably you should watch it.

💀EmperorCupcake🧁 liked these reviews