Evan Patron

Favorite films

  • Before Sunset
  • The Holdovers
  • Full Metal Jacket
  • The Raid

Recent activity

  • Absolutely Anything


  • The Royal Hotel


  • American Pie


  • Dream Scenario


Pinned reviews

  • John Wick: Chapter 4

    John Wick: Chapter 4


    "After all, a man has to look his best when it's time to get married... or buried."

    Welp! I just finished my 23rd release of 2023... John Wick: Chapter 4 (22nd watch was Die Hart)

    The cinematography! 😍
    The production design! 😍
    The lighting! 😍
    The world building! 😍
    The action! 😍
    The stunts! 😍
    The colours! 😍
    The pacing! 😍
    The choreography! 😍
    The score/soundtrack! 😍
    The freakin kills! 😍

    PLEASE DON'T MAKE ANOTHER JW FILM! This is a perfect ending for Mr. Wick. Go ahead do spin-offs or whatever. But please, leave this man alone!🙏

  • Unbreakable



    "Now all I need is your credit card number..."

    How do I start this off?

    With the excellent screenplay? With how smart & subtle this was? With the gorgeous cinematography? With how amazingly directed this was? What about how unbelievable the score was? What about how incredible Bruce Willis was? What about how marvelous Samuel L. Jackson was? What about how phenomenal of a superhero/origin story this was?

    So many things to talk about, where to begin?!

Recent reviews

  • Absolutely Anything

    Absolutely Anything


    "Why do humans like tickling dogs tummies?"

    "Because they love having their tummies tickled."

    "Uh-uh. Dogs pretend to like it because they know human beings like doing it."

    An absolutely wacky & crazy time!

  • The Royal Hotel

    The Royal Hotel


    "You're the embarrassment."

    Welp! I just finished my 109th release of 2023... The Royal Hotel (108th was Dream Scenario)

    Maybe it's just me but going in to this I was expecting a harrowing watch. While the overarching concept works, the actual events unfolding were quite frustrating. There were some pretty high tension moments sprinkled throughout, but by the end I still found this to be very flat. Hugo Weaving chewed up every scene he was in so I can't be too upset.

Popular reviews

  • Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

    Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle


    This is one of the best stoner movies ever!
    It's got everything:

    A business hippie
    Animal semon
    A cancer raccoon
    Racist cops
    A cheetah smoking weed
    Movie references
    A dope soundtrack

    What's not to like about it

  • Ted



    "Fuck you thunder
    You can suck my dick,
    You can't get my thunder
    Cause you're just gods farts."

    Fuck anyone who doesn't think this is funny as hell.

    Never fails to put a smile on my face and make me laugh.